ricochet, ricochet.

2006-02-01T04:33:00.000-08:00

MUSIC: " bessa " tilly & the wall

I really love Coldplay. Call them mainstream disgusting music, but I just can't seem to get myself unhooked from Chris Martin's voice. The lyrics are splendifirous (sp?)!! And a lot of these songs ring a bell for me everytime I listen to them. It's nice lah.

I WILL TRY TO FIX YOU.

STILL. STILL. STILL.

Still wanting to like the retarded ponytail girl? NO NEED LAH. Stop trying so hard to straighten your fat shoulders and look like those handsome jocks you see in the American dramas. IT'S NOT WORKING. Stop trying to look like you're so wanted, when actually you're not. Fix that antique mole of yours away from your face first. And straighten out those layered teeth of yours, and scrub away those smelly plaque from your front tooth. And stop acting so friendly and resisting talking to people when in actual fact : the burning desire of typing a conversation is eating you up alive. DESPO GILO.

Secondary 2 is eating me alive. This is getting bad to hazardous to plain mind-numbingly painful. We're being fed with tests after tests every single week, with only Chinese New Year holidays to give us a teeny-weeny break in between. And having teachers such as Miss Chiang is not helping either. Her articulation isn't that good, is it? I still don't get the concept of chemical formulae.

We're approaching Chapter 8 of Maths. This is really getting depressing!
At least I've cleared out all my Maths homework.. I just need to figure out how to actually do the whole of Chapter 7... there will be a test during this week, and it's driving me insane.

French is also getting much more complex. We're having (yes, you've guessed it) A PETIT-TEST THIS FRIDAY! I have like less than 2 days to study and cram... we're going to be tested on all that differen tenses, it's not going to be an easy thing lah.. which makes me giddy and back to Square 1 all over again.

It's not a matter of having to buck up or anything. I just need to be stable and consistent.

Oh, man.

2006-01-30T05:38:00.000-08:00

THE. BOY. IS. MINE.

"I'm sorry that you, you seem to be confused. He belongs to me, the boy is mine. You can say what you wanna say - I know it's killing you inside."

I love you and I want you and I wanna touch you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to rest my head on your shoulder and share kisses with you. I want us to speak on the phone with each other every single night and I want you to understand my fierce ambition. I want us to be passionate and I want us to love and care. Fuck, I just want you.

2006-01-30T01:06:00.000-08:00

Argh goddamnit.

Plaid & Brothels is 4 pages to completion. I can't wait for it to finally be finished, since this is the second try. The first one just seemed too odd to make. I already have mondo plans for the second issue. That one will be subtitled 'Imperfections & Vibes', and will be a hell lot more personal.

When are we going to start on Pinapoop? (is that the correct title?)

WANI, WE MUST MAKE TRIPS TO THE COPY SHOP!!

2006-01-29T17:49:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was an evening out for the entire family.

We went to Great World City to watch I Not Stupid Too - yes, the second time round for me. I willingly obliged because I know it was an awesome movie, and somewhere between those lines, I knew it was a perfect flick for my family because there are so many similarities to the family in the story, and mine. I hoped it would have cleared the blindness in my parents' eyes. Well, guess what?

IT DIDN'T.

Which sucks, because their skewed version of 'GOOD PARENTHOOD' is a real pain up the ass. Everybody knows they get so screwed up anal when people tell them off for not being good parents. Up in their stinking heads, they think they're doing a good job. Putting money in our banks and pretending to want to spend time with us doesn't make up for all that embrassment you've put me through lah idiots. Retards.

I remember one time, I burnt a CD-R to be played in my dad's car. It consisted of all my favourite music. Oasis, Bikini Kill, The Distillers, Neutral Milk Hotel, Gwen Stefani, Pretty Girls Make Graves, The White Stripes. Even a little bit of Ashlee Simpson for good measure, even though I didn't particular like her.

They mocked me for my music taste.

They laughed and they commented and they laughed and they howled in laughter. It seems childish for me to whine about this here, but the fact is - I was affected. I was hurt and upset and disappointed at myself. For a mere second of my existence, I felt that I didn't belong in that MPV along with the rest of my family members. It seems stupid of me to get so worked up on just a couple of adults disliking my liking for rock music, but you should have been there. It felt a world of a difference to be with my friends who appreciated me for who I was, than stuck in that little circle, forced to pretend that I liked quality time and "bonding" with them.

It was a vulnerable attempt at asking me to change who I was. Izza who loved writing zines and listening to indie rock and playing pretend with her best friend.

Somehow, I just wasn't good enough to be in the car.

Weird isn't it?

It might look like I'm exaggerating, but when you're in a family where nobody really truly understands you, you tend to pick up all the little fucking memories the rest leaves behind, and lick your wounds with it.

Sidetrack: My sister bought for me the $5 bottle of Pantene Leave-On Moisturiser and said that we'll go for a haircut next month at Jean Yip. I can't hardly wait. =)

2006-01-28T05:29:00.000-08:00

i've never met a pearl quite like you, could shimmer and rot at the same time through.

Can you just not make me fuck with your head? It's getting bloody annoying. He doesn't like you lah. He doesn't like anybody. He just PRETENDS to be all bubbly and jovial, but you know his ego is still the size of modern day Pakistan. It sucks to be acquainted with the male gender. I don't even know how my parents married. I don't know how my siblings got their current mates, I don't how the genders co-exist with each other.

Because this is for sure - I don't fucking understand guys.

2006-01-27T05:29:00.000-08:00

Aiyah, just give me a break, can or not?

I know my words can be hurting at times. In fact, most of the time. I don't smile to people anymore. Not because I don't like you (I LOVE PRACTICALLY EVERYONE!! <3), I just don't see the point in smiling and smiling to conceal my feelings. Sometimes you just don't feel like putting on a cheerful front and pretending that everything's okay, right? Because it's not.

People are dying, feelings are hurt, grades are falling, brains are exploding, Maths is worsening, homework is mountaining, moms are nagging, money is depleting, looks are deteriorating, time is finishing.

All of these are making moods worse. I don't mind if people call me moody or emotional, because it's true. Just don't discriminate me just because I'm not a fake like you, you know?

I hang up on people all the time. If you're on the phone with me, and you don't seem to capture my interest and make me pissed, I'll hang up on you. Which part in that is blasphemous? Yes, it might be unrespectful, but you got to be true with yourself.

If you're the kind to follow what everybody says, then you probably wouldn't do that, and this whole post might be gibberish to you. But think about it - people just want to live, you know? Surely you can cut me some slack?

2006-01-27T05:08:00.000-08:00

MUSIC: the ataris shit

Ah, damn. I just came home from making a second pair of spectacles for myself. You can bet how upset I was when all the plastic-rimmed ones didn't fit me well. They were abit too big, and seemed to cover my eyes alot. And very heavy and overpowering, now that I come to think of it. Each cost like $98, just for the frame itself.

So my mom did the choosing, and we got a bronze-silver kinda metal-rimmed spectacles for me. It looks pretty alright if you ask me. I'm not going to say it's the one that best fits me, because metal specs aren't exactly the most trendy in this period of time, but uh... it's just for my vision. Hopefully my eye-straining days can be kissed goodbye. :) Collection on FRIDAY.

So I had Burger King for dinner. Met up with my dad at the stadium, he picked my mum from Thomson Plaza, she got us burgers and fries for dinner, ate it in the car because I was obviously starving. Then met up with a traffic jam (embouteillage) and reached home late.

Tomorrow's that stinking FLAG DAY.

2006-01-26T03:45:00.000-08:00

ARGH I hate Maths! This fact cannot be stressed enough.

Man - Exercise 7G is tough. I've tried sitting down and actually doing it, but the temptation of being online and chatting with my friends seemed unbearable. So here I am, typing this text out and pretending to not have a single care in the world.

It's amazing how much can happen between two different individuals at any given time, even over such a short period of time. Hell, I only kind of introduced myself to him like 3 days ago, and he's pretty friendly.. but according to Wani, despo looking. At least he was nice enough to ask me out, even if it was a pretty half-hearted attempt.

And some people are just wayyy too sombong. Eh, please lah. SEDAR DIRI, boleh tak? Giant mole somemore. I really hate these kind of people, who think they're so good, but in fact they're not.

2006-01-26T01:12:00.000-08:00

MUSIC: " disco club " black eyed peas

Well I had a very meaningful chat with Aisyah just now, it was about guys. Well what she said was basically true. We talked about certain guys who chase over certain girls for a period of time, and then they just sort of quit when the hype dies down and they figure, "Oh well, I'm not gonna get her, so fuck it." Which is a very blunt way of putting it, because yeah - shit happens. A new girl comes in to steal territory, guys get attracted like bees to honey and controversy explodes.

And I also learnt that certain people just don't know the meaning of rejection, hah.

Hell yeah, GIRLS ARE STARTING TO BECOME MORE INDEPENDANT today. We need men, because it contradicts the meaning of religion ultimately, but what about girls who are in her teenage years, way before passing the phase of her life when she absolutely needs a loving partner? What about girls who have to rely on guys for the sake of teenage love and lust? Do we really need to start that early? If it makes you feel good, then yeah. But if it leaves you tattered and bruised, what for, then?

I changed the layout, obviously, because Wani said the previous template made my blog look much less enticing to read. Hopefully it's better now... despite the fact that the colours are abit bright. That's the way I like it, anyway.

We have this Flag Day thing this Saturday, while the Chinese will be celebrating their New Year <3. My hipster jeans can hardly fit me anymore.. what to do.

Everybody should listen to Bonnie Mckee.

2006-01-23T00:21:00.000-08:00

Whew, was that luck or what?

Well, as many of you might already know, Cikgu Senan expected FIVE sets of the same compilation of 5 cerpen and 5 sajak, and it was near impossible for me to have had it ready. My printer is just being weird and demanding that everything is printed in colour, because right now the black ink is running low. The coloured diagram tells me that the ratio of colour ink to that of grayscale is 8:1. It's freaky, especially since colour ink is notorious for running out way before black does.

So I came home at about 3 (damn you, house meeting.) and I was literally rushing over the corrections that I was supposed to have worked on 2 days ago. Procrastinating can suck really bad at times, you know? So then I got them all done and now my father's printing them all out in his office. He just called me to say that six copies of each document is insane. Yeah, I forced him to print an extra one because clutzes like me always need replacements. :)

I have a ton of homework right now... the cycle never changes, does it? We're entering a really tough chapter on Maths now, and I can safely say that I'm desperately trying to cling onto any kind of knowledge I have... alot of people are catching up and I'm, sad to say, falling behind. I guess it takes an immense load of courage to say such things, and let's just hope I get better somehow. My mother is offering me maths tuition, but I don't want it.

Speaking about House Meeting, every single one of us were forced to join an event, somehow. Shit lah hell lah. What's the use of things such as try-outs and voluntary participation if the teacher has to force everybody to sign their name against a certain event? In the end, everybody HAD to sign up for something. Guess what Wani & myself chose? DISCUS. We didn't really know what the fuck that was, and the only thing I knew about it was that Rahmuna's brother had stacks upon stacks of Discus Gold Trophies in his bedroom.. and it kinda involves people who look like they're on a rampage swinging discs into the air? Yeah.. should be fun. HAHA

I have Maths to do...and I didn't score very well for my Comprehension thing.

Wow, this turned out longer than expected. I'm going to go take a shower and work on my zine. <3

bye

2006-01-21T22:39:00.000-08:00

Oh, damn. Seems like my geocities account has maxed out, so no music, and all my uploaded graphics are being trashed. This sucks, can't you tell?

2006-01-20T03:11:00.000-08:00

Ever heard of a giant mole in the midst of thousands of pimples?

I have. And it's not a pleasant thing at all. I can't believe he even had the potential to be such an attention-seeker. AIYOYOYOYOYOOY.

2006-01-20T01:46:00.000-08:00

Thanks Wahidah for that little chat we had just now. I just need to get something off my chest, and you helped me. :) Thanks yeah.

I LOVE MY SMANGAT JIWANG

2006-01-19T06:11:00.000-08:00

I LOVE RICE
AND ZINES.

Today I got a huge package from Lisa Mae of California. She sent me like 2 dozens of zines. Awesome shit.

2006-01-19T05:53:00.000-08:00

ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH ALHAMDULLILAH

This post is full of Alhamdullilah because today, Wani has shown me a great path. She has englightened me to my lucky status in my school life. At least I can look at that in instant gratification and live the rest of my 2 years in BPGHS in peace and harmony. AMIN.

brag·gart (brăg'ərt)
n.
One given to loud, empty boasting; a bragger.

They're all braggarts lah. TRUST ME. All of them are. I'm not going to give mercy to anyone of the. BECAUSE OF ALL OF THEM ARE.

What made it vraiment fun?

Is it because of the movie? The plot? The storyline? The humour? I don't think so lah. Don't lie can?

It's because of the attention you were getting - or rather, the attention you were so hungrily seeking, and was hoping it would be bestowed to you in the proverbial bucketfuls? HAHAHA, yeah, you got it. But maybe you were 2 percent short, because the person you expected to get a response from didn't really entertain you. BOOHOO.

And keep on talking about someone. No need lah k. So obvious ah!?

EH SIAK AH BABI TU MUKE MACAM KAU SIAL.

All cowards. Maybe I should just pretend to not care and give them a shrug and a smile on the face and say, "MM, k." next time they try to hurt me or make me feel hurt, or something. Because I can't be bothered anymore lah. I used to be so affected about it, but Wani and I talked things out. It seemed better after that.

If someone ugly resembles me, you go ahead and point it out outright. Can you imagine if somebody who slightly more beautiful, who has the same features as me? Would you point it out to me? I don't think so. Stop being a coward and start putting your selfish heart out of your bodies and start thinking about other people's feelings. You wouldn't like it if it was you.

Other than that, I HAD PIZZA FOR DINNER TODAY. YUMM.

2006-01-19T04:49:00.000-08:00

MUSIC: " the way you move " outkast

New layout up. I don't quite like it, but some of you might. Original Picture right here, just for fun. I don't feel like designing much these days. So I think I'll leave it with this layout for awhile before switching it to Vers17, yeah. By the way, the picture is from The Rocky Horrow Punk Show, which is basically just a very good source of inspiration for those who like zombies, the art of Draw, punk music, cabaret, broadway and rude debauchery.

*snort* So we had the screening of I not Stupid Too with the entire school today. The Sec 2's generally filled up Hall 4 of the Lot 1 cinema.. and it was interesting.

First of all, I couldn't believe how many students chose to leave school the minute dismissal bell rang. Because as much as I thought we were being kiasu, a lot of the rest were of the same mentality as us. So we paraded down to Lot 1 (because obviously we would have to wait ages for the bus) with my fucking limp (my appendix was giving me problems yet again - I've been having this problem for months) and finally got there. The group split up. Lyria & Company went to KFC to have their lunch, and Wani,Serene,Jane and myself went to Food Culture to grab a bite before going to the movie. They had some chinese dessert thing and Wani and I got chicken rice. It was yummy, except it was expensive.

So then we roamed around outside the library, contemplating whether to go in and wait for the last minute, or troop over and just sit down in the cinema.

So when we finally got to the cinema, it was packed. JAM PACKED - I didn't find a way all of us could find simultaneous seats of 10 people for us to sit together, so we were forced to split up. Wani and myself sat at the left hand side of the entire hall, and by that time it was too dark to really see who was where. And surprisingly, it wasn't stinking cold as expected.

The movie was great. Funny bits here & there, and sad moments as well. It's definitely an eye-opener.

I'll leave it to you.

TOM YEO OR CHENGCAI?

I say Chengcai.

2006-01-17T03:45:00.000-08:00

Another category of people who are worthy of my "Most Annoying Group of People" list.

PEOPLE WHO WEAR CHEAP LOOKING SHORTS TO CLASSY PLACES (i.e : hotels and town)
Okay, so your denim shorts might be Gucci, so what? Shorts are still shorts. Shorts are still only worthy of neighbourhood roaming or going to the market. Who cares if its expensive denim? It still looks comparatively similar when placed beside the $5 This Fashion variety, right? So what's the point of splurging your money on ugly shorts and then having to be critisized because your hotdog legs cannot look good in shorts for the life of you?

I'm not trying to be bitter. I have more cellulite than Jupiter. I just find it displeasing when I go to town and see people wearing lovely, nice tops but ugly shorts that totally ruin the whole outfit. I feel pity on Singapore's part. Man oh man, would that be shitty.

So anyway.

Today was awesome!

I stayed back with Jane & Lyria. We got some talking done. Apparently that fishball teacher didn't like our Broadway idea. She kept complaining that she didn't know what Broadway was. THE TERM, YOU NUT. BROADWAY!!! Lights, camera, smoke (or the pretense of it, actually), action, camera sounds, dancing, tap dancing, costumes, RAH RAH ROAR.

Doesn't she get it? She kept asking us to brainstorm for more ideas.

We got to meet the Sec 1's interested in joining. They seemed pretty blur to me, exception to this one girl. She's joining NPCC. She's awesome lah. She was in an innovation club thing in her primary school years, and she seemed really great. She was very enthusiastic, saying things like, "I haven't acted, but I'm willing to learn and interested in trying." She can actually help out in terms of the structure, I was thinking.

Then the fishball teacher gave us a test to do. FOR THE SCIENCE TEAM. It was damn difficult lah... it was probably 'O' Level Science, and I was so hungry and tired that I couldn't think straight. I'm not an aspiring scientist, either way. So we finally just jotted down shit answers and gave them to the teacher.

THEN GUESS WHAT?

She still needed our help.

"MUSCLE HELP", as she put it just now.
We had to carry some Biology books for her all the way from the Staffroom to the carpark. But she gave 3 of us a ride to LOT 1! It was a hell lot of fun, especially since you can act like the teacher loves you or something. Teacher's Pet hAHHAHA

So then we were hungry, so Jane,Lyria and myself, we had pre-dinner.

I bought snacks and accompanied them at Food Junction to eat. And now that I recall how scrumptious Jane's food was, I feel like eating a whole bowl of Yong Tau Fu. But I don't have money.

I still have Maths and Malay to do.

lola

2006-01-16T01:30:00.000-08:00

MUSIC: " blue orchid " the white stripes

What I noticed is that, a lot of people (including myself). We live for the day, for the minute, for the second, for that particular moment. We think for the present, and hardly throw a second thought about the future and carelessly jumble out our thoughts about the past.

It's done a lot of bad things for me, especially since I'm finding it increasingly difficult to remember a lot of my past memories with my friends. It's not necessarily a bad thing either, once I think of how goofy & silly I was in my primary years, but it's doing damage to all the fun things I've done with say, Wani, for example, in Sec 1. It goes to show that living for the moment is not very good, is it?

If we live for the moment, we only think about today. About how this evening will turn out, how we will be able to get past this horrible day in school, and once we're done with it, we tend to take it for granted as the end of that particular timeframe of suffering. What we don't necessarily realise is that, we still have tomorrow and a whole frigging lot of tomorrow's subsequently, no?

Let's take yesterday for example. I was so relieved to have gone through my Maths homework by the night, and I just slept in the comfort of knowing that everything is done and accountable for, not caring a single thing about the next day. Yet, here I am, making a big deal about the mountain of homework that still manages to creep up to me. HELL. I think it's just the pacifying and suffocating atmosphere of Singaporean education that still reigns supreme in the "choking students to near death" category. And if MOE is reading this, I was just joking. Don't put me in court. =)

Speaking about homework, we have tons.

Well, actually not the hard copy of the actual horrible thing, just the prospect of having to read stuff off huge chunks of text and revising and revising from a ginormous selection of textbooks can drive me (and anybody else, actually) to near insanity. It's driving everybody nuts!

2006-01-15T06:09:00.000-08:00

My mum got us Secret Recipe for dinner!

Yummy. Well the funny thing was, my dad called the three of us at around 9. Said they were coming back home and asked if we wanted any dinner at all. Well, my sister was spring-cleaning her room and was blasting Lauryn Hill at Volume 9 and was bawling her head off, my brother was installing Football Manager '06 to the computer, and I was just dancing around to Mariah Carey lol. So I got a little pissed and just said NO in behalf of everyone.

Well they came home with Secret Recipe food.

Lamb Shank Stew, Shepherd's Pie, Spaghetti & Meatballs and a hell lot of cheesy mashed potato.

My brother came home with his girlfriend, who's going off soon to her hostel because her classes start tomorrow morning. And they're watching football downstairs and just asked me what Raison d'etre was in French. the reason to be. And I pronounced it for them and they laughed at me. My mum is nuts lol. She's going:

"Raisin date? Reson DAD?" And mocking me. LOL. Funny woman.

So tomorrow's Monday. I've finished all homework except 4 cerpen and 5 sajaks to go. It's impossible to finish lah.

2006-01-14T03:50:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty fcking depressed right now.

My mother is sick - really sick.

No, it's not the flu bug, either.

Man oh man. You know how they say cherish your loved ones while they're still around? It sounds like shit because that's what you get on motivational talks and posters and all that frigging friendship diaries. But it's kind of true. I just don't know how to express it.

I fucking love my parents.

2006-01-13T20:12:00.000-08:00

MUSIC: " get me outta here " jet

Did anybody see the Self-Mutilation episode on Tab TV the other week?

There was a segment about sexually inflicting pain on yourself/or having others inflicting pain on you during sexual intercourse for pleasure.

They claimed it to be psychologically wrong.

Do you agree with this, or not?

My take on it would be, it's not psychologically wrong.
Why would it be psychologically wrong to have the tendency for you to want others to inflict pain on yourself? Yes, when I first heard it being phrased in that manner, it did seem disturbing and abit gross. But, just like a fat kid loves a doughnut, why shouldn't someone who loves a domineering woman/man be wrong? If people are condemned so much for wanting a little bit of this & that, how can you filter the right from the wrong?

Yes, stealing and shoplifting or killing somebody is wrong. Yes, doing a good deed such as helping an elderly person carry a bag of groceries is right. The issue lies in the degree of how wrong or how right it is. As much as robbing somebody might be wrong, it pales in comparison beside taking lives away, right? And as much as helping a blind person cross a road is good, it's still not as fantastic as something like praying for somebody's life or something. So why does a fetish for painful sex become such a stained and wrong thing in this society?

If people in the States or in Europe can accept it with open hands, how come in Singapore, people are being so uptight about it? There are different areas of fetish. If sex is supposed to be classified as something under "the art of passion and love", why restrict it to traditional methods? If that's what the person likes, and if that's what the person has to resort to, to find the meaning of passion and love, why must the society darken the name of painful sex in such a way?

If you are familiar with 'The Desperate Housewives', you might be familiar with the episode in which Bree got all frustrated because her husband did not want to have sex with her on Valentine's Day, even though it was an age-old tradition between them. WHY? Because her husband liked a controlling woman. WHAT HAPPENED IN THE END? Bree obliged and was ready to learn. BECAUSE SHE LOVED HER MAN.

Many people might not be used to the idea of being a Dominatrix or might not be too appeased to the idea of being in control, or having a leather whip as a fancy gear during intimacy, and they are not forced to. I just think the society and the public needs to loosen up a bit about their views, and how they broadcast it for others to see. There are always more ways than 1. You shouldn't just throw wild ideas out into the sea and tint them with mud, just because it takes a wider perspective to actually agree with such things.

2006-01-13T19:57:00.000-08:00

I'm abit happy today! Because Wani has been reading undergroundpress.org, and she seems to be interested in zines. I just hope she doesn't get too shocked when she sees the end product of Plaid & Brothels, because I'm sure it's going to suck a lot. I'm going to give out free copies to Jane & Lyria, because they're hot like that. You know the drill.

I can't understand people who act so all-rounded. OKAY LAH, I've got the point that you've moved on with your life, but why express it so openly? Everybody knows you're a gone-case, and will always label you as that. Even though I wish I could prove them wrong, and even though I feel as compelled as I am to believe that you really are (moving on), you're still of the same rotten character. You're still going to be who you were last year, the girl who got once bitten, twice bitten, thrice bitten, but still not shy. Go ahead and float in your little dreams in clouds above your head, and I wish you the best with it. I must say I felt a bit intimidated when you mentioned that you were going to clean up your act... because you've got so much potential.

I've got a lot of homework on my plate right now. I love being involved with the communities back in livejournal, they're fun as hell. A lot has been happening within Slytherin, but hopefully it picks right back up again to its normal track.

So algebra has obviously been such a bitch. It's difficult to swallow everything at once, especially since Maths takes time to absorb into the mind, right? Teachers have got to understand that they should take things one at a time, instead of hitting us with a full blast of pointless information when all we've got is 1, when they're already at 100. I hope somebody understands what I'm trying to say here.

I'm been trying to get out of my bum and try to write up some Harry Potter fanfiction, but there's no inspiration lately. Yesterday, after French, my mother was a bit pissed at me and my dad because she had to wait a long time at the taxi stand before we could pick her up. Damn you, Junction 8 heavy traffic. So I got out of French early because I actually did my homework unlike the others who are so frigging smart but pretend not to be. I got into my dad's car and we parked at some HDB flat. My dad goes out of the car to have a smoke, so I whip out my EW Book and start writing my composition. I had such a mental block that my words sounded like a 3 year old on aspirin, or something.

So then we picked up mom from the taxi stand at Bishan and she bought me the mashed potato from 7-Eleven. My dad kept shutting me up because I couldn't stop asking my mother if mashed potato was made from mixing potato starch and water. And my mom, as per usual, kept ranting on about her work experiences to my dad, who merely just nodded and grunted 'yeah, uh.' I like our family.

HOW'S EVERYONE ENJOYING THE SONG?

2006-01-13T05:38:00.000-08:00

OK let's see. I feel like something's constricting me really bad. NO, it's not constipation. >_<

Well I think I've mentioned that there was the Drama Literature thinger happening on Thursday (or was tt in my LIVEJOURNAL?). But only Hamlet and Macbeth got the chance to perform. I think our group's turn will be up next, though. It's following that stupid worksheet order thing right? I was a bit upset because I had that "get it over and done with" mentality, especially since I know our play isn't going to be exceptionally rocking, anyways.

Like I said, something's controlling me. I want to say something here, but I can't. DAMN IT!

2006-01-12T04:00:00.000-08:00

Today was pretty effed up. HAHAHAHA!

Wani didn't sound too pleased when I told her the lyrics for this song, she said it reminded her too much of Brody Dalle, and she started reminiscing about Brody Dalle's stringy saliva during her live performance of 'Drain The Blood'. Hahaha imagine screaming punk rock out of your mouth and having the audience grimace because your saliva is stuck on the microphone. Rancid feeling.

I still have French and D&T homework, which adds to the suckiness of the day. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO START D&T, EVEN. I have no drawing abilities.

And somebody's obviously up to some mischief, haven't she? Asking answers from people huh? No need lah. So deceiving some more. Go get a life lah. For the sake of others.

Also, just when you thought you've been promoted to Sec 2 and life's all sunflowers and carebears, the seniors strike again. Are you trying to tell me that we have to wait for another 2 years to avoid that lasting gaze that all juniors seem to get? Imagine this scenario in your puny little head.

Junior: *walks past a group of seniors*
Seniors: *gasp* *cough* OMG LOOK AT HER SKIRT, LOOK AT HER SHIRT LOOK AT HER HAIR! *cough* *cough*
Junior: Do you need a cough-drop?

But that's abit unrealistic, isn't it? It'll go more like:

Junior: *walks past a group of seniors*
Seniors: *gasp* *cough* OMG LOOK AT HER SKIRT, LOOK AT HER SHIRT LOOK AT HER HAIR! *cough* *cough*
Junior: *notices the coughing*
*runs off*
Seniors: WE PWN JUNIORS. WE ARE SO EVIL.

WHOOP-DE-DOO, BASIL!

You guys know I still secretly love you, right? <3

2006-01-10T03:49:00.000-08:00

I wanted to blog, but I was cracking my brains to find a topic to talk about. Preferrably something that would hold an audience's attention, and quite possibly, as an addition, captivate the readers. If everyday life could make for a gossip topic, why wouldn't something intellectual and mind-provoking be something being sought after in the 21st Century? Why not?

It seems that my mp3 player has no more capacity to fit in anymore songs. What a waster, what a fucking waster. (That's a song, by the way. The Libertines)

I kind of feel kind of out of touch with my family nowadays. Well, what do they know about school? It's so bizarre, because I know they care, and I know they want to know how my day went, yet I am being so selfish to exclude them from my life. Being aloof for no specific reason, just because I'm too ignorant in knowing that they just care for me too much. Sometimes I just tend to want to isolate myself from other people, because I want to prove to them that I can get away and breakaway from difficult stuff, but I've just learned, in the course of the past week, that nothing beats a caring pair of parents who gives you $30 per week. PER SE, HA.

You know, my first choice of CCA would have to be Debate Society or English Literary Club, or something like that. HECK, pass the "strong" CCA's such as Uniform Groups of Military Band, I'd rather have something I enjoy doing and flourishing in it. DRAMA BEATS SPORTS, ANYDAY. Who says lanky & athletic bodies is equatable to undying passion for sports? Certainly not me. I loved being in Track & Field like, years ago. Now the love and understanding has died away. Don't feel offended when I say, sports is all about winning now. I stand by my word and you should too.

Debate is such an interesting and SEXY topic. Hahaha, don't get me wrong. I just feel a sense of pleasure when I see the opposing team crumbling down into pieces when the BPGHS team fires them with words of pure controversy and strong elements of opinion and months of research backing up... wow. It's kind of steamy, isn't it? I hope you get what I mean. Sexy is NOT only about intercourse!

And DRAMA. Who doesn't like drama? When given the right costumes, setting, time and place, it's all about lights, camera & action!

2006-01-09T02:30:00.000-08:00

Runofuel is back!

Meh - I just felt bored and decided that reopening this stank place would be a cool idea. But um, no tagboard - no frilly links, no regular changing of layout for me. Who's wrong to say that school has been catching up with us so much, that time for all this guilty pleasure crap has been shunned away in the little corner at the back of our hearts? No time lah.

So I'll post momentarily. Enjoy the new layout! I fucking love the song.

edit:

I have so many things to do for school. It's so tough this year, I'm not even kidding your socks. And no, it's not just "all work, no play" kind of shit. It's the the "all work, all play" kind of thing, and the play refers to CCA. I'm thinking of totally quitting Netball, since my alliance with it has since died off.

Livejournal still rocks. I'm pimping it, can't you tell?

2005-11-16T16:07:00.000-08:00

Let's talk some Potter Business.

Haha, it was just great lah the film. I think it doesn't do outright justice to the book itself, because honestly - the books are over 700 pages long, and you need to compromise everything into a 2+ hr short film? Pretty impossible if you ask me. BUT it was just... brilliant. Trust me, you should just go watch it if you're a rabid HP fan.

I MISSED 10 MINS OF THE FILM because my sister was a little late, and she had the tickets. When we got into the theatre, it was already in the Great Hall, where Dumbledore was announcing the Tournament. So yeah - I'm definitely watching it again. I don't care if it's in the Omnimax with the friends or in the movie myself, I HAVE to watch it again.

Also, what I think about the film.
Overall, I think it was great. The effects were just splendid, cinematography was simple and flowing (unlike the PoA, where Alfonso Cuaron directed and it was just a mess of bullshit) and the dialogue was subdued, simple and strong.

I didn't like that they actually changed quite some of the content so that the length of the film could be shortened, but it was okay. I was disappointed not to have seen Dobby the House-Elf and the faces of the Death-Eaters closeup. I know they wear those ridiculous masks, but it would have been great.

OH AND DID THEY SHOW BILL WEASLEY? Nope, I don't reckon.

I'm damn bloody disappointed with Ron this film. He's really starting to look like a big geezer on the set. I don't know ... dier macam budak kesian nak mampos. Like, he's POOR, HAS TO WEAR HORRID LACY DRESS-ROBES TO THE BALL, GETS DUMPED BY HERMIONE, GETS ALL MAD AT HARRY FOR THE MOST PART OF THE FILM... and erh. He has like only 4 lines in the movie. It's saddening.

My brother told me Snape was paid $2 for acting in the film. HAHAHAHA TRUE YOU BIG MOFO.

I think this film definitely chronicles around Harry this time. It's kind of heavy-duty, in a sense that nobody else actually matters. WAHA.

Yeah, I actually woke up real early for this. I figured I wouldn't have much inspiration later on in the afternoon. I wanna re-read GoF now. ((:

2005-11-16T07:14:00.000-08:00

GOBLET OF FIRE ROCKED.
REALLY. SERIOUS. NO JOKE.

JUST GO NOW.
DON'T WALK.
FCKING RUN.

RUN TO THE NEAREST CINEMA AND WATCH IT NOWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was just great lah. I'm too tired now to post anything decent, but I'll write a fair write-up in my LJ soon. =)

2005-11-14T06:08:00.000-08:00

GOING TO WATCH GOBLET OF FIRE WITH THE COUSINS ON WEDNESDAY!!!

This is gonna be fun. We're going shopping in the afternoon and then when night comes we'll go to Jurong Point to watch the movie. Kakak booked the tickets online already. Shpiffy, eh? I'm so excited I can't even contain my eagerness.

And I Shiver

2005-11-13T19:24:00.000-08:00

Hahaha thanks so much.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE my BABY! <3 ((:
Can't stop smiling.

Hahaha yeah he bought for me the Paperchase pen. It's all yummy and pastel and rainbow-y. YOU ROCK Shariff.

AAANNND. He made me not ONE, not TWO, nor is it three.
But SIX mixtapes. To aknowledge our six weeks together. Hahaha, lame lah I know. People are like 6th Month/Year Anni and we're only on the sixth week.

BUT IRREGARDLESS.

It's all filled with indie bands I've never heard of. Yumm yumm I'm gonna make him a card now.

You are the biggest GLITTER GLUT

2005-11-13T18:39:00.000-08:00

2005-11-12T09:37:00.000-08:00

MUSIC: " be your love " rachael yamagata
Got to know about Rachael Yamagata through Sisterhood of Traveling Pants' Soundtrack. Real lovely. Ironic how I keep pimping these musical artists at the starting of my blogposts. Seems almost routinary.

Well yeah. Like I said on my previous post... there's just SO MUCH on my mind. Talked to the boy on the phone just now... felt like just spilling the beans on EVERYTHING. Too bad I couldn't just accomodate all my feelings through the telephone cord in like what - a matter of 15 mins? Yeah, we're both pretty rushed for time nowadays. Hardly have anytime for ourselves, let alone each other. What a pity to see everything go down in a mess.

AND DEAR, think before you talk. Jangan nak mempersia-siakan harga persahabatan. You think you can just flutter from friend to friend and feed off their instincts, but your time will be gone soon. I mean, first it was her. What was that for? Boys? So you can gain attention of a *specific* boy you want? Then now you're just left with the other one. I don't even know or care you're up to. Empty Vessels Make Most Noise. Heard of that? You probably have, thinking you're so "UP THERE" with the English Language. I don't pity you, but the most of them do. And I have absolute proof. =)

Secebis kisah tentang perempuan yang tergila-gilakan nama.

Went out for abit with the cousins to LAU PA SAT just now. Drove around Changi for abit.. kinda fun. Yeah, you know the drill. LJ-updates.

2005-11-12T09:25:00.000-08:00

Wah siao. I have like a whole lot of stuff on my mind right now. I did my quizzes like the ones Nadiana did.. results kinda differed.

You Are 23 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

You Are a Skin Deep Sweetheart

You may be supermodel gorgeous or a plain Jane.
It really doesn't matter, because you're confident and secure.
You don't go out looking like a slob, but you are low maintenance.
You have better things to worry about than whether your nails are the right shade!

Are You Obsessed With Your Looks?

You are White Chocolate

You have a strong feminine side with a good bit of innocence thrown in.
Whether your girlish ways are an act or not, men like to take care of you.
You are an understated beauty, and your power is often underestimated!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Your Celebrity Style Twin is Gwen Stefani

Trendsetting, unique, and stylish.

Who's Your Celebrity Style Twin?

Blew $77.

2005-11-10T23:06:00.000-08:00

MUSIC: " in red" lovedrug

I like the sound of Lovedrug, maybe you guys should download a few tracks from their band.

So yeah, like I blogged previously, I did go to Lot 1. There's nothing really interesting there, like I noticed from my visit earlier on. I think the main thing that keeps us students attracted is the limited amount of shops that sell trendy stuff, and the library. COME ON, like every student I know makes the library an excuse to go to Lot 1 after school everyday. It's not wrong, I never said it was, so think before you throw negatory remarks my way. ((:

So I went to the library, bookdropped my 4 books, borrowed a total of 5 books. I like the idea of the NLB doubling our lending-limit to 8 books. Premium Membership Card Holders get 16 books, which is a little ridiculous to think of it. I left the library after a short while because this freaky guy kept looking at me in a "I'M-GONNA-KILL-YOU-COS-I'M-A-STALKER" way. *shudders*

Then I went to the Post Office at the building beside Lot 1. I hate flirtatious security guards and purple-suave-flats (the shoes, not the HDB's.) and blisters on my feet and extremely noisy S.A.M machines. No kidding seh. I bought like 8 bucks worth of postage labels and everytime I dropped the coins into the slot it would go like. "CLING, BANG, SLAM, CRASSSHH." Then everybody queueing to get their bills paid would be like staring at me up-and-down as if I was trying to break open the damn thing or something.

Then this stupid auntie who wanted to pay her bills using the S.A.M machine kept badgering me about how to enter her NRIC No.. Normally I would help elderly people, I mean - I've helped this old uncle wrap his parcel at the counter before, a Malay woman in requesting for a money order and this Bangla worker to where he was supposed to queue up to get stamps. BUT THIS PARTICULAR AUNTIE was watching over my shoulder every single step I made. I mean, HELLO?! THE S.A.M MACHINE ISN'T EXCLUSIVELY FOR YOUR NEEDS. She kept asking me what I was doing then I turned around and just told in my most fakerable tone of voice, "Sorry, but I'm getting postage labels, not paying bills. *insert fakish smile here* Then she stared at me 0_o and walked away. I swear she and her friend were like screaming all the fcking time. Buggers. Oh and I didn't help her because I don't believe it's morally correct to know how much somebody's bills were. It's kinda impolite.

So I sent like everything I needed to, and I feel so much more relieved. I also got a taste of fresh air outside today, so that's good. I mean - I don't have to wait much before the next time I can actually go out. Tomorrow's already the weekend, which means I'll be going out with my family. Then next week I might be going out with Mus&Wani again for Jln Raya and the same people for GOF OMNIMAX MOVIEEE!!!! *beams*

I scanned in 2 written posts in my paperjournal.
You might be interested.
click
click

2005-11-10T18:47:00.000-08:00

I don't quite know what to blog about. I haven't been blogging much, but taking a break from blogspot has been quite englightening. Thinking that it's the holidays, students from all over should be having a fair share of stories to tell, but as I blog-hop, there's nothing much to laugh or crap about.

My father asked me and brother to contribute less than a hundred dollars for the 3-in-1 Printer that we've been yearning for ever since the Canon S400 broke down. I think it's a fabulous deal, getting a printer-cum-scanner-cum-photocopier machine. But I'm seriously NOT down to dispense with my raya money for sth that's clearly supposed to be sponsored by my parents. I can safely say that a printer is fully for educational purposes. I don't wanna rely on my parents to print my projectwork, no.

My whole body is aching from the result of sleeping at 7.30pm yesterday night. Everybody just disagrees with me. Wanted to go to Yew Tee Food Court to get fish and chips because I was hungry but my mother didn't allow me to go alone. Like, hello?! How many gazillion times have you caught me red-handed trying to live an independant life? Zero? Yup. Some people just understimate me too much, blargh.

So yeah - I'm going to Lot 1 in a jiffy after I take my bath, to return my library books with an imposed fine of $1.80, go to the Post Office (FINALLY!haish.) to get postage labels and then walk around until I'm too tired, take 302 back and then sleep. Yup.

I've decided to spend $140 on MLS products.
Amin! =)

2005-11-08T16:45:00.000-08:00

Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from
A woman's good, good heart
On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world
- "Daughters" by John Mayer

2005-11-08T07:41:00.000-08:00

I don't understand why some people would go to a sales thread/post, with probably some imported goods from Japan that looks like it cost $40 and up, yet it's being offered for $25, a much cheaper and reasonable price - and diss the seller for selling something that looks like it doesn't even cost $10. It's stupid, because that idiot probably doesn't even know how much the seller is making, probably selling lots more garments for prices that is double of $25. People like these base their opinions on assumptions that way too ludicrous to be entertained in such a market. I know I, for one wouldn't care less/give a damn about what that fucker would say. Bitch, please. EVERYONE, and I do mean everyone is out there to earn a buck or two.

This blog has turned into a somewhat pseudo-professional, politics-infested, mind-numbing, thoughts-overflowing domain. And to be honest, I don't quite like it. Because it's situated in blogspot, the main audience are my friends - who probably don't know or give a shit about what I'm continously rambling about. THAT's why it's mind-numbing to a certain extent.

I seriously do NEED the printer to be in working condition. Third-Party Ink really messes up situations, fuck. I'm gonna do a zine in this month to come, and I hope it'll be the innermost & personal piece of written project that I'll ever be doing. Probably gonna bite the bullet concerning lack of financial resources and resort to a simple, jumply cut&paste method.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, I updated a little bit of the beloved Scatterheart today. Stuck in a couple of movie tickets (the ones Wani and I went to, the most significant) as well as one from the movie I watched with ma famille a few days back. Wrote a little bit about the holidays, but I haven't fully decorated it yet. Trying to find time to get myself inspired.

2005-11-07T08:17:00.000-08:00

I have a bizarre feeling about everything right now.
At this very instant, I feel the blood rushing in my veins in pursuit to the heart. It's not about that cliched anger, nor is it about me trying to connect a few random words to form a prose piece. It's just that strange,strange sensation I keep feeling today.

It's getting to my head.

I feel at this very moment that the relationship I've threaded for this past 2 months will come down in a massive heap of dust. The blinking automatic buzz-alert is green in envy with the words TERMINATION IN PROGRESS , pretty much vibrant. I find myself, later on, sprawled on my newly-acquired Ikea bedsheets, weeping my heart out, bawling my voice out, over something I thought could last me my lifetime.

No kids, no break-up with Shariff, this is just the constant monologue that goes through my brain and right down my spine whenever the treacherous thought unravels itself upon me. Wait, I take that back. Even if the boy asks for a split, I don't think I would care. I would, of course - in the way a little teenager would if her mother withdrew her AVRIL LAVIGNE CONCERT ticket. But definitely NOT in the way that a riot grrl lost her feminisism.

MAYBE, just maybe, I'm too strong. Too strong and independant. I guess I still have a lot of time and area for me to expand and age, and I probably would send heads shaking and mouths speaking if I said I was fully-capable of leading myself in my life as a one-woman operation, but that's seriously want I want to see myself as one day. That's an aspiration.

Go on, use your biggest and most useful buffer against me. It wouldn't matter anyway, in retrospect or in any other way. I mean it in all ways that I can and should - I don't really need a male in my life as a supporting figure right now. Even as Shariff is here by me, I'll put it in the most frank of all terms : just for shits and giggles.

I might be your antagonist right now, you could hate me into my deepest and purest of gut, but I bet my bottm dollar you would convert 100% into a supremacist for me in the years to come. THAT'S how determined I am to knock the living daylights off people who looked down on me before.

Have I made you change your mind?

2005-11-07T02:43:00.000-08:00

You know what, dear? Just go do whatever you want.

2005-11-07T02:31:00.000-08:00

MUSIC: " i bruise easily " natasha bedingfield

I'm in LOVE with this song. I don't know, majority of her songs seem to appeal to me - so erh. I guess it's the lyrics. No safety-net, to cushion the blow.. Haha okay.

By the way, I spent the whole morning and afternoon today looking around for Skins for The Sims 2. I was extremely successful in finding several nifty skins and objects, and I created an all-new LESBIAN family in conjunction to my new find. Hehe, sick I know - but it was probably my only chance to find two females snogging each other under the same roof. Here's a picture of them:

click

HAHAHA. I kinda love them, but then again I don't think I'll be using the skins too much. The game seems almost too Anime for me, and it's so foreign to see them up and about in such up-to-date fashion. FASHIONISTAS ON PROTEST, yeah. Most of the stuff I downloaded were punk-rock or gothic fashion, and I don't really like them.. so erh yeah. Skins, if not chosen probably, makes the original game lose its enjoyable cartoonic factor.

....

I haven't been doing much besides that, yeah. I'll be working on my homework tomorrow, but I don't have much. Just the evil FACTORISATION Maths Worksheet and the English Compo. I've been racking my brains to crack out the slightest bit of idea for the plot. I can't seem to find anything worthy for it. Remember, it's for 2006. ;D Let's make an excuse and say my brain's on the world's Biggest Writer's Block in the Century.

STOP TALKING CRAP,IZZA.

2005-11-05T23:37:00.000-08:00

MUSIC: " luxurious " gwen stefani

Oh my, the glamour of blooming relationships heading to the fork in the road leading to the land of disaster. I've got my legs on the ground, I don't sleep to dream. You've got your heads in the cloud and you're not at all what you seem. Rupa semata-mata rupa, rupa hanya hiasan muka.

"We're luxurious like Egyptian cotton
We're so rich in love we're rollin' in cashmere
Got it in fifth gear baby
Diamond in the rough is lookin so sparkly"

I'm not trying to make a stand, trying to proclaim world peace with two fingers propped up upon my head, trying to pose myself as the generation's best exemplary teenage figure, but I can't help but say that I'm close to running as reining teen queen of Yew Tee Block 561.

Anyhoots, I managed to clean out most rarely used and unwanted disk-space on the computer. I did it on the nearly-defunct machine in my brother's room, figured I might as well impart my knowledge of ass-wipping stuff off on the current computer as well. Organized the "My Pictures" folder, deleted designs I no longer needed. I had plans for those before, but since most of my stuff are being compromised because of The Sims 2, figured I'd just terminate all hope of being an aspiring webdesigner in the future. Amen.

Speaking of The Sims 2, I'm still holding on to the hysterical belief of mine that it is purely the best game out there, ever. Haven't gotten your copy of it since the last manic post I made, rambling about it? Go get it now! Hee, I feel like I'm being paid for this, really. ^.^

It's my HOLY-GRAIL when it comes to PC Games, because I'm just convinced nothing gets better past this. Well, hello, it better be. It sucked up like 2KB off my computer just like that. Imagine miniature adults prancing around in maternity undies, being equivalent to 1100 songs on the Neeon? Now, that's imcomprehensible fun, my friends.

I better get a Creative Stick-On for my Neeon soon. Scratches and little marks are evident on the black frontpart, and the yellow Chrome Metal-Plate at the back is being stained by the previous Spongebob Sticker I placed on it. HAHA.

Back to the topic of Sims 2, I like it when they WooHoo in the Hot Tub. It's amusing, watching on as they fornicate their way, very much pleasurably (the way I view it) under the fireworks that automatically conjure between their random shouts of joy. You see, the creators of Maxis weren't wrong when they decided to name it WOOHOO. It's even better when they do it in their double beds, instantly dropping into a deep sleep after their um.... activities. Energy-Consuming, no?

I created a French family recently. The CHEVEREUX family, as I decided to name them. Consists of Marlene, Damien and Christine Chevereux. (It's pronounced Share-Vair-Roh, with the emphasis on the 'R' and not on the 'H'.)

So then 2 minutes into the game, the aspiration column of the mother, Marlene, suddenly makes a violent twist and a pacifier evolves out of no where. I move my cursor over it and to my very surprise, the highest rating of her "Family" Aspiration turns out to be.......

HAVE A BABY!

From then on, I could kiss my SQUEAKY-CLEAN Gameplay goodbye. It was now time for FORNICATION IN THE HOT TUB 24/7, not to mention trying for a baby every minute of the day. HAHA, did I enjoy it.

I did it,really. I followed whatever people told me to, get the parents into the tub at least 7 times day, made sure they cuddled and flirted alot, and TRIED FOR A BABY multiple of times a day. I waited and waited for some sort chain reaction, but none came.

Then suddenly, one afternoon, while Christine was out at school, and Damien was having a nice lunch of Lunch Meat Sandwiches, Marlene started getting what seemed like fits in the middle of her "Yummy Channel" episode, and suddenly she was sporting MATERNITY CLOTHES! Gray jumpers, purple sweater, ugly shoes. What else could it be?

To confirm my arising joy, I quickly made her change into her bikini and yup. There she was, her stomach bloated in the most disgusting fashion, ambling around like she needed thrice the attention she needed. When Christine got back from school, she immediately "CONGRATULATED" her mom, only to be found stamping her foot in the kitchen with a thought bubble hovering above her with Marlene's face crossed out in gigantic red. Oh wells, family life.

So it's back to the drawing board, people. IT'S POTTY-TRAINING TIME!

2005-11-04T03:30:00.000-08:00

I probably couldn't live life without a sense of direction.
Like today - If I never planned to spring-clean my room, I probably wouldn't.
I'm not saying I actually did, because I didn't.

I went out to Ikea with the family pretty early in the morning. We were one of the few customers there, so it was a big bonus because by the time we were done with our shopping, tons of people just came pushing in with the gigantic yellow bags. We had brunch at the Ikea Restaurant, I had Poached Salmon and my sister had the Fiah & Chips. My brother got the yummylicious Sea Coast Salad plus a side order of Apple Pie with a thick crust. Wanted to try that one but by the time he was finished with it, it didn't look appealing at all.

Haha, and I loved it when my father was talking about the menu food items and there was roast beef, poached salmon, spaghetti bolognaise, swedish meat balls - then suddenly he looked around the whole restaurant and said to my mom, "Wah, today got alot of people eat the balls ah." Then my mom nearly choked on her fries, dabbed her mouth with the napkin and we knew that was a winner.
(He was referring to the swedish meat balls in case you're too slow for tt.)

Then, we planed on going to Sembawang for the Ceramic Warehouse Sale which has been there since like what - Year 2004? It's still there, and nobody knows about it so we smart-asses get nice, crafted Ceramic crockery/cutlery for dirt cheap prices haha. Okay, so we planned on going there to get nice dinner sets as door gifts for ppl who were yet to be invited, but decided against it because we might not be inviting relatives to our house this year after all. BUT FRIENDS, it's totally open for you guys so yeah. Leh datang lah maksudnye.

So we went to Plaza Singapura instead, to watch a movie. We bought 5 tickets for Flightplan, which turned to be a good movie afterall. I mean, most of the movies I watch are either a hit or a miss kinda thing. I don't really hate movies unless it's a complete flop - like say The Hulk. Other than that, asalkan halal boleh lah. Yeahh... I guess you gotta give awesome props to everything that's behind the movie. It's not easy work, and you get to see the effort in special effects and such.

Went to Mark & Spencer's to get my ultimate favourite snack - All-Butter Shortbread Fingers!! Yum lah. At first my siblings were like ... aiyo. But then in the end all of them scoffed like the entire packet. Lucky I got 2. Went to Best Denki to get Photo Printer Paper, bought 2 packets. Oh we went Ikea to actually get photo-frames to decorate the banister area. Wanted to get some bedspreads but my miser mum didn't allow it.

I can't believe my mum doesn't wanna renew my wardrobe. LIKE HELLO WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I BOUGHT CLOTHES?! Like, in June, okay. It sounds pathetic and disgusting, and I'm ashamed of the truth, but there. I LAST BOUGHT CLOTHES IN JUNE. & she wouldn't take anything other than "i'll appreciate whatever i have in my wardrobe right now" as an answer. FUCK LAH.

Then just now she was appeasing to me, asking where I wanted to get clothes when all these 4 months I've been hinting and hinting - HULA&CO! FAREAST PLAZA! BANGKOK! KL! ABERCROMBIE & FITCH! PUMA! PADINI AUTHENTICS! ADIDAS! Wherever!!!! *exapserated tone* I.just.need.clothesssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chey, takleh diharap sey gini.

2005-11-03T05:42:00.000-08:00

I just got back from the Family Jalan Raya 2005. It was quite fun, I'm not gonna go into details here, but I'll be posting tons about it in full detail in my lj, so yeah. You should look out for that one yahhs.

Usually the family would go to ALL RELATIVES' HOUSES on the 1st day, and we'd end up beat and dead tired, knocked-off our socks kinda tired by the end of the day. We'd reach home at about 2-3am, and I wouldn't even be able to open my eyes as we stroll from the Multi-Storey Carpark to Home. But this year was a great exception, because we stopped at the 5th house. Mama didn't see the point in going to so many houses when our jobs were pretty much completed. Meet, greet, mingle, get money, eat, pay respects, done. That kinda thing. Straight-forward ; the way I like it.

So reached home about 7pm, then slacked, played Sims 2, ate tons of cookies, ate dinner, burned MP3 Disc, uploaded Raya pics, and now I'm here. Life is fun.

Tomorrow should just be slack time. I was contemplating on fasting tomorrow, to pay back for my days during Ramadhan, but then it's far too early. Maybe in December, if I'm not going for holidays or when I'm not involved in the class chalet or movie marathons. Yup, November is a wonderful month.

Speaking of which - I MIGHT be going for a short holiday to Bangkok with the parentals. Either that, or the usual JB OR KL kinda train-ride. You know what? I'd like to try that once more. It was fun the last time. Waking up in the wee hours of the morning to catch the train to KL, then waiting for like 8 hours to reach there in the freezing cabin. I'd definitely bring thicker jackets next time. Yeah, I should suggest this to my mum.

DUIT COLLECTION HERE, BAYBEH! It totals up to a few more bucks shy of $200, but then I owed my brother some moolah two months back so I paid him. I'm debtless now! WHOO. Yeah, so now it's still sufficient to get me some cool things. I'm STILL going to Jalan Raya my butt of with my friends, so don't worry, don't worry... the total's not fixed yet. MASIH BOLEH TUKAR.

So how, guys? I'm thinking 3 days of Jln Raya with BP Friends, 1 day of Jln Raya with KPS Friends. I'm still trying to confirm for the dates because Sakeenah can't make it on Friday, yet Nizam says his mom has something nice to cook on Friday. WHATEVER LAH, nobody's replying to my messages. I'll just fix a date with a few of us then if you can make it, come, can't make it - DON'T. HAHAHA.

Yeah, I'm gonna gobble up some more SAMBAL SOTONG. Yumm.

2005-11-01T04:53:00.000-08:00

OI! BOY! YOU'RE A TOY!
Haha, that made me crack up. My family seems to really hate my taste for music. It's kinda disheartening, but then at the same time, I feel ever so compelled to make MORE mixed-cds with "MY" type of genre and irritate the crap out of them by blasting them full volume in the middle of the night.

Sorted out through some CDS from my sister's room. She had a full cardboard box full of old CD's in dusty old packagings, so I took them out manually and surveyed the contents. Pretty interesting stuff - for a scruffy old mess, that is. I retrieved a few old burned games (strategic "tycoon" games plus a non-working Britney's Dance Beat. sigh.)

I even tried out all the untitled CD-R's and found out ALL of them haven't got a single thing in them. So basically I did my good deed of the year. Yup, there's a towering pile of blank CD-R's at the side of the computer table, so if anybody needs a good generic mix of indie rock I'll be able to make you an mp3 disc of it. ((: Oh the wonders of having blank CD-R's and a kickass burning program.

I ALSO WATCHED 'BRING IT ON' AND 'PETERPAN'! Heck, I loved the the guy's personality in Bring it On. So charming yet so faker-able. Nvm lah, that movie was like 5 years ago. And Peterpan just made me gag all over the place, because Michael Jackson's broken nose kept popping up all over my mind whenever I saw that gay child-star, Jeremy Sumpter.

Did abit of baking yesterday and today. Made Pink Sugar Cookies and Whipped Shortbread Cookies. Pretty basic and easy lah both of them, and it didn't turn out quite nice =7. Kind of a waste of butter & flour, but it was alright. My sister's making kick-ass Sugee Cookies and Chocolate Chip Cookies. Damn nice lah k.

HARI RAYA COMING SOON! Sorta excited for the mostpart. I wanna go JLN RAYA!!!! With friends. =)

My mom's preparing her Ayam Masak Merah downstairs for the dinner at my uncle's place tomorrow. I dunno about her decision for making it... *shrug* I'm just convinced nobody does it better than my auntie. She does it with a little bit of heroin and morphine to keep you addicted to it. GANJA BABY GIVE ME GANJA.

My handwriting's also gone abit bonkers. It's all retarded now - I know it has always been, but now it's getting from bad to worse. HAHAHAH RANDOM LAH.

2005-10-31T17:27:00.000-08:00

MUSIC: " annihilation " the devotchkas

I love this girl's smokey eyes.

But I'm thinking along the lines of this for my Raya Make-Up. How, how? Good? Can? Not?

2005-10-31T04:05:00.000-08:00

MUSIC: " le le low " hot hot heat

The problem with me is I get really irritated. And I'm a total partypooper most of the time. I also get infuriated quite easily at the slightest things. I'm also extremely difficult to charm or please.

Everybody's got their differences, so just learn to except it.
Honey, JUST FOR ONE DAY, I'd like to be able to sleep tight at night knowing I brought you down by my sense of style. And I'd also like for you to stop lying to me. Because you're so close to me yet your white lies conceal under your deep eyebags like persistent parasites. But I'm Wonder-Izza and I'll dig them out.

I've been rotting the whole day. DAYUM.
But I managed to download a shitload of songs into the Neeon. Grand total? 1093 songs.

=)

2005-10-29T22:33:00.000-07:00

My baby love, you are my baby love.

What is wrong with denying love for somebody? Everybody gets so tensed up at the sound of it, but love is a sacred thing and if someone's not prepared to express it, give them time, baby. Because once the feeling is overworked, the magic ain't there no more. Whereas if you let it slide, cool down and relax, magic and sparks gush out like an endless river of sweet sugar.

Hmm, I haven't been updating much. School's over, and I'm not feeling hyped-up yet. There's still 4 days left till Lebaran. Still, I don't see the volatile actions of hanging up mouldy lace curtains or changing bedspreads to last-year's fashion. Baju Raya seems to be the same old carbon copy trying to squeeze its way through the limelight - stealing the commercial name of this year's fashion statement. If only, but I wish not.

What IS this year's fashion anyway?

Baju Kebaya with the Batik Wrap Sarong a la Indonesia? It might look nice on the plastic mannequins, but not on everyone. Stop living in your own world of trends and grow up. I only managed to get 3 sets of Baju Raya from the mumster.

I loved the first one, adore the second set, not-so-much the third one, because it doesn't fit me too perfectly. But then again, all's fair in the world of catty fashion, love and sometimes rivalry and war.

I wish, ONE DAY, I would make myself rich, earning money by the bucketfuls and make myself, my parents, my siblings, my children and my husband overjoyed with the shining, ironed and crisp sets of clothes they would be gifted with, 3 days before Raya. All this, courtesy of my hard work and education. I WISH, but I might not even live to live this dream.

"Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable, I twist to fit the mould that I am in."

2005-10-29T05:21:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " trouble " bonnie mckee

You know you'd KILL for that hair.

2005-10-28T05:50:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " signal in the sky " yeah yeah yeah's

Haha, indie rock has not died halfway on me. I'M STILL LISTENING TO ROCKING MUSIC!! It's just that I've learnt, ever since being parted from my wonderful Neeon for a stinking week, that I've never appreciated good music so much before.

Today pretty much SUCKED.

I mean, the whole day was just like BORING BORING BORING BORING BORING.
Yeah, I mentioned 'boring' right?

First of all, we had that supposedly "exciting/thrilling" School Bazaar, which started at 9am. Miss Alice Lim needed Wani & I to be in the iStudio to be in-charge of the History Board Game Station, so tt part was definitely fun. For like - 10 mins.

We were supposed to do 'Hieroglyphic Bookmarks' encripting the names of the Primary Students in hieroglyphics if they managed to de-code the simple message which read:

A GIANT SPHINX GUARDS MY TOMB, WHO AM I?

And all of them starting swarming the table, demanding a free bookmark with their names. And the whole thing was so difficult eh. We had to copy and paste different pictographs according to their names, and some people had names such as Amminurudin and what-have-you.

So then I suggested that they had to answer the freaking riddle and do the worksheet and it was back to square one. NOBODY WANTED A BOOKMARK. Lazy asses.

Oh! And the answer is pharoah for all your smartie-pants.

Then that one finished at about 1pm. AND GUESS WHAT. We *still* had to wait 2 hours up till 3pm to do that damned IPW PROJECT PRESENTATION. Ours was a complete flop. Let me just tell you a little bit about it.

Like I really couldn't be bothered with the thing since Day 1 lah right, because I don't see a point in being serious about a subject I dislike. I know I go on rambling&rambling about adapting and all that jazz, but WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MINDS would want to get all geared-up and serious about sth as minuscule as this, AFTER THE EXAMS? Not me, too right you know.

So I didn't really do A SINGLE THING, except colouring and decorating the final replica of our project. Even that - I gotta give props to Wani for doing such a good job out of it. ((:

So our product was :

TO PAINT THE WALLS OF THE OLD FOLKS' HOME WITH VIBRANT COLOURS AND PATTERNS

And we were cracking our brains as to how to present this in a replica and so we finally thought of just doing a simple A3-sample of some flowery patterns. You know, throw in lots of colours, a few generic flower shapes. DAMN! BAM! ALAKAZAM! You've got your IPW Project Grade, reading out AAAAAAAA*. Right?

WRONG.

Apparently we didn't follow the given theme, which none of us knew about, the idea was impractical because "we never thought about why our idea was never executed since aeons ago" and blardy-blardy-blah.

Wah, I tell you. I tell you all this also my heart like so crushed like that.
All efforts gone to waste.
I mean, definitely not mine lah, but I feel for the rest.

I'm just pissed off for people with sarcasm notes in their remarks. I mean if you know so much why pass on this project to young minds like us and expect a damn-good job out of it? You know the chances of that are like, 2 to a god-damned bazillion entries. GO GET A LIFE.

I'm taking a break from finishing my Holiday Homework, so I better continue doing it before I start ranting more.

2005-10-28T02:25:00.000-07:00

I probably need a reality check.
Because I'm not that smart. HAHAHAHAHA
I THOUGHT I WAS.

104's top student got 20th in Level Ranking.
Wow, that's astounding.

I HATE MYSELF.

2005-10-27T04:44:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " burn " usher

I dug out some of the books off my shelf and was reunited with one helluva thick baking book entitled The Complete Bread & Baking Book. So damn-fastic lah that book. It was one of my sister's birthday presents from my brother, and it's still in PERFECT condition. The stuff they have are like so scrumptious - difficult to produce yet so intricate in instructions. Very european, yet palatable in Singapore.

Maybe I should try out the "Chocolate Bread & Butter Pudding" recipe. Sounds good , right?

I used to bake this EXTREMELY luscious Chocolate Pie for my parents occasionally since last year. Since the start of this year, I don't recall whipping up anything out-of-the-ordinary for them. THAT, my friend, brings me to ultimate guilt. I mean, they bought for me tons of stuff this year. Neeon, Billabong Bag, Baju Raya, HANDPHONE, countless tops, X:odus shoes,so many more.

Maybe I should start getting the bag of flour out.
I remember doing the pie shell so tediously, but DAMN! the sense of satisfaction once the vanilla meringue is topped on the sweet, creamy & light chocolate filling. THAT WAS INVINCIBLE.

I mean - even if my parents hated it or didn't eat even one bite of it, I could most probably sleep a peaceful night knowing that I did something out of goodwill and intention that morning.

TOMORROW'S LAST DAY FOR SCHOOL YEAR 2005.

Do you guys fcking believe it? Because I don't. It's really very fast. I still remember the very day I came into BPGHS for the orientation, thinking bad thoughts about the sch because it seemed so cramped and old. (Don't get me wrong, I still hold mixed feelings about the architecture.)

I STILL REMEMBER the people I saw, not knowing whether I could trust them or not, being very wary about this & that.

And trust me, I still have these feelings bottled up in my head. I don't even know who to trust anymore. I've gotten to know FABULOUS FRIENDS, wonderful people who have kept me intact, prevented my insides from bursting out in times of need, when adversity striked.

People like Hazwani, Jane, Lyria, Ashwini, YJ, Eugene plus majority of the people in my class. It was just great spending the school-year with you. ((: So happy to have landed in 101 and found such MAGICAL FRIENDS. Woots.

GOD I LOVE RAINBOW PASTILLES.

2005-10-25T23:29:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " butterflies and hurricanes " muse
"You crucify my elements."

I did a little "10 random facts about Izza" thing right here. It's kinda interesting, because I did some sort of elaboration on it.

My parents are PLEASED with my results! Break-through news, much? Absolutely! They think it's good that I managed to get all A's except for a stupid subject. I *still* do have to spend most of my time during the holidays drilling on Science though, because my mother spotted my mistake - which is the misconception between memorizing stuff and applying it to exam questions.

I'm HUNGRY LAH. And I'm craving beef lasagne right now, or baked calamari drenched in creamy lemon sauce. YUM! I discovered that out of the hundreds of different cuisines in the world - I still stick to the practical kinds. That being Japanese, Italian, Chinese, Thai and Northern Indian Cusine. Rock my white socks. ((:

I skipped French again today. I'm just too lazy to attend lah, perhaps attend Friday's lesson because that'll be the last lesson and that means some sort of "farewell lesson" for us to Mdm Cirieco. Will be fun, I reckon.

We were given some sort of Travel Plan Form today from the principal because of the upcoming Avian Flu cases which has been affecting various European countries such as Romania and Russia. I don't think I'll really be going anywhere, to the exception of Bangkok or KL. I *might* be going, but in relation to the EXTEEEMELY busy schedule I see lying ahead of my family & myself, plans might just be cancelled last-minute. *shrug*

I'm planning to finish my Maths Holiday Assignments by tonight. I CAN DO IT!

Oh, and Literature Drama Groups have been assigned. Going with Wani, Serene, Ashwini, Shu Qin and Li Ting. We're going the play ROMEO & JULIET! Guess I was lucky and got the slip of paper. This is gonna be so much fun, I mean - half of the work is probably already on our fingertips. Who doesn't know the storyline of R&J?

....

BUT that's no reason to be complacent and come up with a shitty dramatization. So we'll work hard and EXCEL!! =D

SKALI TAK.

2005-10-24T23:59:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " ready for love " india.arie

Just a quick post before I go and start The Sims 2. Addicted to the game, it helps me feed off from my hunger before buka comes by.

GOT MY OVERALL RESULTS!! So wasted can? My Science totally sucks lah. I'm pretty happy with my results, to the exception of the dreadful science. I really hope my parents will be satisfied with them when it comes to the day when our report books will be released. Oh dear.

ENGLISH A2
MATHS A2
HISTORY A1
GEOGRAPHY A2
SCIENCE B3 <--- I TOLD YOU THIS WAS GONNA SPOIL EVERYTHING.
LITERATURE A1
HML A1
VISUAL ARTS A1
HOME EC A1
D&T A2
FRENCH A1

Only *one* more measly mark until I get A2 for Science, then I would get a perfect record of ALL A'S, then I can make my parents fully happy. This really sucks lah.

Oh and Mr. Tay gave us MORE HOLIDAY ASSIGNMENTS FOR MATH. I'm not even gonna touch them.

2005-10-24T06:37:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " blue orchid " the white stripes

Sushi rocks this planet!

It's stupid when companies try to advertise or commercialize an album into something it's definitely not. Something that's way out of its league or genre that people who buy their album seem to lose every bit of interest and start mournfully regretting the $21 they blew on it or even gaze at the shiny plastic case with a sense of disdain. Take THE WHITE STRIPES as a leading example.

From the songs that were being aired from the radio, for example : BLUE ORCHID, or say - SEVEN NATION ARMY, I could more or less conclude that the band was airing or producing very strong, machine-like, electro rock music with garbage gibberish as their lyrics. So then I got their album and what do I get? The answer is : NOT MUCH. Not much that I was expecting.

All through the album, the band of 2 siblings kept belting out slow-rock tracks with the occasional twist of sudden shouts or throbbing drum beats. Not very enterprising, I say. Not very promising as well.

The last thing I need is The All-American Rejects singing the blues in a matter of 2 days, after digging through mix-tapes after burned CD's. Let's just keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.

I updated my LJ, the layout and everything. Looks really nice, I must say. All vintage and rustic. I'm also going to do some more improvisations of this skin and then keep it as it is until after Hari Raya 2005. It sounds like a deal.

Oh, and more day-to-day accounts on my LJ has been updated. ((:

I STILL OWE PEOPLE TESTIMONIALS! But I'll write you guys extra-long ones when I get the time, promise promise. =D

Dear, I changed the song because I know this means alot to both of us. MMMUAHH love you to bits and pieces.

2005-10-24T04:28:00.000-07:00

You disrupted the predictable pattern of my life, and although uncertainties and changes can be quite uncomfortable, a life is only a paper puppet show without them.
-Tom Robbins's take in 'Villa Incognitor'

I'm extremely disappointed with my Science SA2 Marks. I mean, it's like the spoiler in all. I managed to get frickin' A1/A2's for ALL the other subjects except for Science. Did terribly for it.

Got the *correct* Literature SA2 Marks today. Pleasant surprise, I must say - 92/100. I got 22/24 for the latest Unseen Prose piece, so tt certainly helped alot in pulling up my marks. THANK YOU GOD.

I REALLY, seriously hope and pray that the overall marks won't be too shabby. I didn't do particularly well in the start/middle parts of the year. I only started getting serious for the end-of-years.. it'll show in the Report Book, definitely.

Shariff told me not to care anymore if it meant tiring myself out. He was talking to me and I was tired, so I kept keeping quiet, and he said that to me. It cut me real deep. But whatever.

I'm too tired to blog.

2005-10-22T22:18:00.000-07:00

I like this font colour .

I actually, also, happen to adore Ashlee Simpson's hair over here. That was taken a month ago, but apparently most of her fans disliked it : so she changed it back to the whole black extensions and curly hairdo thing.

Then now, she's sporting that dishevelled, "teased" blonde hair look that makes me want to really gag in her face. It's not very nice, is it? This is Ashlee at her best, trying to don that sweet, elegant look. She failed miserably.

Anywho, I went out with the 02 girls & Wani yesterday. To recount the events of the day, I guess we had quite alot of fun, but my back was aching SO MUCH, so I'm sorry if I affected your day because I constantly needed a place to sit down and rest. It's a chronic illness, non?

Basically they had plans to practise netball for the Interhouse Competition, but then by the time we reached Woodlands it was about 2.30pm and they didn't really have much time. So we decided to just jalan2 around Causeway Point to kill time before the Anugerah Performance Thingee started at 4pm. I wasn't dressed to the occasion, shucks.

Nadiana wanted to get a pair of sandals but she didn't have enough dosh on her, so she compensated on getting a pretty shpiffy black OP top. Then we split up for abit and when we met back together at the venue and the whole place was already pretty packed. We were forced to just stand around like little fools, leaning against some metal cages with SLUMBERLAND pillows for sale.

Then 5.20pm came and I had to meet my sister and brother to fetch my parents from the airport. Hahaha, bummer. We reached there 3mins shy of arriving time, so my parents were a little pissed. Buka-ed at Swensen's Airport Terminal 1 and then made our way to Mustafa Centre to get Abah's perfume. Yummy, so cheap.

My mother offered to let me choose a perfume, and for a little while I considered getting one. My choices were Anna Sui Secret Wish or Beyonce's True Star, not sure of the brand. Smelled so delish man, both of those. But then I realised that I didn't really need them, because I'm still using Touch of Pink, and it should be sufficient to carry me around until Hari Raya. ((:

I shall be going BAJU RAYA-HUNTING later on. It's gonna be real, special fun. I promised to make a date with my mother. I've kinda learned to just value & appreciate her choices because PILIHAN IBU TERNYATA PALING BAGUS and it's kind of like a berkat to respect her decision. So I shall! Even if it means being clad in an oversized hotpink baju jubah 6 sizes too big. It'll still look good, because my mother chose it for me. WHEE =)

Shariff got his baju raya already. HAHA it's a silk white baju melayu with a gold/black sarong. It's typical, but I've seen it and it's really nice. GORGEOUS HONNNNEY. BLUEBERRY YUM YUM!

The only saddening thing is : We won't be going out together this Hari Raya. He's gonna be waaay too preoccupied with his family because he has dozens of family members, and he also has tons of friends, so we won't be able to make a date. It's nothing too fussy though, we promised we would compromise on spending ALOOOOTTT of time together during sch hols. Hehe.

Yeah, I've been typing way too much.

I finally changed the skin. COLOUR OVERDRIVE, I call it.

2005-10-22T21:11:00.000-07:00

I think Ashlee Simpson looks pretty hot in that picture of her. Not the outfit put together, but just the hair and stuff.

2005-10-21T04:46:00.000-07:00

The need of a paperjournal has been overshadowed and overthrown by the existence and usage of an online journal. Some people might think that online journals are only out to wreak havoc or earn you a few traitors or enemies (whathaveyou), and I seriously agree, but find myself not doing anything to break free from this addictive habit of typing in a few careless, mindless comments every day into my personal domain of predicaments, stories and opinions. It IS strange, really.

It started not so long ago, when I realised that my fingers were more accustomed to the easy nature of typing, rather than the gruesome, tiring task of penning down thoughts that seemed too difficult for the rapid-speed in which my brain were processing ideas ; almost like the way hotpink turned into a violent shade of magenta in a near split-second. From then on, blogging became a wide option, and so I took it up. The blogging world grew & grew, more complications arose.

I still find myself more prone to writing down stuff that happens on a daily basis up here, which makes me love runonfuel so much. TOO MUCH, some might call it - that even an option of moving on to another username has led to me being "old-journalsick" and hence moving back in a time span of 17 hours. It's really not so easy to let go once you've engaged yourself so much. It's not just a name on the huge wild wild web, it's a place where most of my sentiments are placed, enclosed in a permeable, and oh-so-fragile cage.

At this point of time, I find myself having a choice between the 2 (paper and online journals) but I still feel so disheartened to step out and make a proper choice.

Maybe I care too much about how people view me as, but I find this bizarre obsession lessening day-by-day. If I was the freaky kid who wanted everybody to see me as a champion of the world 5 months ago, I'm more like a snobbish counterpart of Betty Cooper with sidelines of Reggie Mantle's ego plus Vanessa Carlton's consciousness this very day. I find that every frown I make in public, whether in the train or as I rush through the day's schedule quickly in my head, wouldn't make such a big deal to the society at all. SO WHY BOTHER?

The problem with people is : They don't know what the hell is WRONG with themselves. I might be saying this in a totally disisllusioned nature, but it's true.

If this girl were to be suffering from a severe lisp, had a few strands of blonde, fading hair atop of her balding head , had no friends , didn't know a single word of English, she most probably still didn't know that she needed to improve herself. I should just say that most people just think too highly of themselves, including me.

I've ALWAYS been trying to become this ingenious girl I never was since I was 5. I guess in more than 2 ways, my parents taught me the only way to suceed was to be the cream of the crop. I still haven't mastered the basics of that, let alone execute the needed fundamentals of being of "top-student" quality. So let's cross that option out.

But in another way, I guess I've never really been overpowered by anyone before. Before anybody can ever mutter "GO!" to me, you'd most probably find my hand flying a mere inch away from his or her face, indicating a wholesome, "Talk to the hand, babe, cos the mouth ain't doing no talkin'." That's just my quality, and I'd have to seek forgiveness from anyone who has ever felt insulted or shunned because of that.

2005-10-21T04:39:00.000-07:00

Once my lover, now my friend
What a cruel thing to pretend
What a cunning way to condescend
- "Shadowboxer" by Fiona Apple

I WANNA CATER TO MY MAN.
Yeah.

2005-10-20T01:30:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to believe that I'm way too much for you
All that talk but you still can't come through
All them lies like you could satisfy me

This is gonna be a pretty short post. Since my aunt's coming over to break fast together with me and all - Seriously I DON'T LIKE people coming over to my house. I find it annoying and irritating and stupid as fuck all the same time. GO AND BLOODY COOK FOR YOURSELF LAH BUGGER. Next thing I know she'll be ushering us all to go to Geylang. WITH HER. I'm not even interested, hello. Not anymore, anyway. Sheesh. SHEESHA LOL

We had a little fight today, the boy and I. He just didn't see the reason why I kept going out after school everyday with my friends. He didn't really like it.. I kept asking him why but he wouldn't tell - which makes me angry. If he can't be open without trying to at least keep his cool I don't see how the situation would end with both parties equally happy.

Then like he started ranting that it was a bloody waste of time, they could be of bad influence, I should be at home resting... Then I screamed at him that it was the end of exams, goddamnit! Haha, then I realised I crossed a line because he just paused a loooong time before muttering "I'll call you back." Then he didn't call.

UP TILL HALF-AN-HOUR AGO. He messaged me saying that it wasn't wrong of him to actually care about me, about my health and he kinda said that if he was wrong then he'll just leave it as that. I don't know... I'm still kinda mad at him because he just doesn't understand the amount of tension I'm trying to release after the exams, yet I still love him because he cares for me like no other.

I don't want to message him back yet. I'm hard-headed like that.

2005-10-19T04:48:00.000-07:00

HAHA OH MY GOODNESS I'm so happy that I got free dental check-up today. For that, I have received a newly cleaned set of sparkling teeth and a filled-up cavity. I don't even know how the cavity got there. It's not like I eat sweets excessively - and even if I do, I make sure I brush my teeth thoroughly after that. It's like a habit, beautiful dentures = beautiful life. Not really lah.

I got EVEN MORE results today. It added on to my miserable self, but I'm not resorting to crying my eyes out or mourning like I lost a member of the family. It's just the first year in BP, there are SO much more stuff to look forward to (or not), so yeah. If you guys got bad results, think about the other people who failed like all the papers. Hey, at least you tried your best.

So the final list is....

ENGLISH A2 - 70
MATHS A2 - 70
SCIENCE B4 - 62
HISTORY A1 - 86
LITERAUTRE B4
HIGHER MOTHER TONGUE A1 - 75
FRENCH A1 - 76

I'm SATISFIED with my French marks. It was strange just now during French because the teacher was reading out our marks in FRENCH ; it was so difficult to grasp the numbers. Mine read out pretty simple : soixante-seize. Which is a direct translation of 60+16 haha. French is cool like that.

We watched a short French film today. Entitled "Le Diner de Cons" which means "The Dinner of the Idiots". It was pretty interesting, but the content was somewhat degrading. But it was funny nonetheless. It's about a group of people who regularly invite a couple of "idiots" for dinner, where they make fun/ridicule them to no end in front of the masses without the idiots noticing. Hot, just hot. THRILLING LAGIK TU.

Then we finished French at 6.20pm. Shariff had an event at school, something to do with a Chemistry Re-Test, and then he called me at about 6.45pm to tell me that he was heading to his uncle's for buka puasa. Initially wanted to meet up with him for Long John's, then we could get him a bag from Junction 8, but cancelled plans. I kinda miss him, haven't really met him since last week.

I might not go to French on Friday for the sheer fact that I'm a lazy idiot who loves staying at home and ROT.

I really like the monotone of this post. It sounds and seems relaxed, calm and at the same time poignant yet pregnant. I think it has to do with the still air. The aftermath of hardcore examinations. I LOIKE!

2005-10-18T02:57:00.000-07:00

Quite a few things happened today.

Ordered Sims 2 University Expansion Pack off the internet yesterday night. Just couldn't hold it any longer. Charged it to my paypal account, so now I have a little less. It was on sale on eBay.com though. I saved about $11 from buying stuff online, so yeah, it helps. I wanted to get Night Life also but then I figured I should try installing this one first before the computer lags too much. It should arrive in 6 days' time.

Got my examinations results. I should say they're pretty nifty, after everything is added up and finalised and stuff. SA2 pretty much sucked, and I totally blew on all of the papers, but the results are quite satisfying.

ENGLISH - A2
MATHS - A2
HMT - A1
HISTORY - A1

I'm NOT excited for Science at all man. I know I did horribly for it. I'm proud of my History Marks, I GOT FULL MARKS FOR SOURCE-BASED QNS!! I wrote tons for it, and I thought I wrote crap all over the place, but 86 should be good enough. I really hope everything will be fine in the report book. I know my literature isn't going to shine too well, so I need other stuff to compromise.

Went to Jurong East Library with Wani just now. I WAS JUST SO BORED!! And I was fasting to make matters worst. We went to Lot 1 to loan out some books, then actually we planned to come to my house to completely the IPW Project partially as well as use the Internet, but then my brother was at home and Wani was too lazy to go to Yew Tee, so we went to Jurong East instead.

Hung around for quite a while... just read books, listened to my Neeon, people-watched, laughed a hell lot then I borrowed some more books. I also learned today that my music taste differs alot from the norm. I also like loud music on soft volume, which is weird because it contradicts every aspect of that.

Then we went to This Fashion to look at stuff. Pretty nice stuff over there, but I don't like it when they write other brand names on their products. "HOLLISTER" doesn't belong on cheapskate cotton material, hello. Neither does "AMBERCROMBIE & FITCH" exist in cartoon tank tops. Grow up you bowel-headed fashion manufacturor.

I have to go to school by bus tomorrow. I feel almost compelled to stay home sick because of that reason.

2005-10-17T04:09:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " love me tender " norah jones

I think I blew 7 bucks on a movie today. Let's be completely frank.

I watched 'The Skeleton Key' at Westmall today with Wani. I think it was okay, considering that it wasn't that expensive. Hell, if I were to have spent more than $7 on the movie... It was mostly about Afro-Carribean Voodoo and black magic. Papa Justify and Mama Cecile, something like that. The horror factor was very minimal, but the suspense/thrill was way up high.

If you like C-List Movies with freaky storylines with decent endings to make up for the screechy little bits, then you should go watch it. 7 Bucks at any Golden Village Outlet. I just had the feeling tt they shouldn't have wasted the movie on such good cast members, who looked like they couldn't be bothered with the scenes. Really, I bet I saw Kate Hudson yawning while she inserted the freaky skeleton key in the door.

Basically, this is as far as I get before blurting out the good parts of the movie.

I'd also like to say a big SORRY to CJ for being such a racist. I can be a little hard-headed at times, and I'm not the kind to bottle up my anger.. so I tend to express stuff a little too harshly. But what Wan Ting brought up was quite right.. shouldn't have been racist at all. We should totally mend our little tiff and start over. ((:

I feel like researching on lynching because the movie I watched had something to do with it. It's something to do with hanging somebody up in a public place with masses of people watching and then setting their bodies on fire, smothered in kerosene. Happens mostly because of dissaproval of interracial marriages or sth else of tt nature. Probably, tt's what I read from an amateur book.

Oh and saw some really cool HALLOWEEN T-SHIRTS on sale at Bossini. They're the kids sizes though, but I guess I can fit into 150 or 140. They're GLOW-IN-THE-DARK some more!! But you have to get a minimum of 2 tees for a price of $10 each. I guess it's pretty worth it for something so adorable. I wanted them last year but I didn't, because my mom didn't like the quality. But I guess I can beg my dad to get a couple of them for me.

Yeah.

2005-10-15T07:56:00.000-07:00

Haha, today rocked so much. Ever since the pure & excellent existence of The Sims 2 PC Game prevailed itself to me, I have found less sleepless nights, less desperation to go online, and less scratches on my head. Well um, due to cluelessness. As to which site to go next. You see, before PC Games ruled my life, I have always been a victim of the Internet. Now, with Sims 2, I find life so much better.

I know, I KNOW. Most of you already have Sims 2 and are probably thinking that I'm one kind of a slow person, but yeah. I've been living under a rock for years, but not for any longer, people of Earth. The Sims 2 has transformed by inutterably boring life to a fiesta of creating families and fulfilling toilet needs of little computer people.

Let's discuss about the gruelling feat of finding the perfect game for me in a span of 2 days. At first, I wanted SIMS : BUSTIN' OUT because it seemed a good idea to interact with my brother's defunct Xbox Console. It's a matter of bringin' it all to live. Besides, the computer seemed a faraway option because all I kept envisioning in my head was lagging simulation people walking in retarded lagging steps and cheesy background music upon a blocky image horizon on the screen. BUT I WAS WRONG!!! The Sims 2 will prove a point in 3-dimensional NEW-AGE, STATE OF THE ART computer games and their improvements from typewriters and block-printing methods. Everybody should get a copy of this marvy game now.

So we went to Lot 1 on a gloomy night to find the game. We tried Comics Connection, to no avail. Zone X, to no avail. Popular Bookstore, to no avail. Everybody in each and every one of the stores kept saying it was difficult to find. What do you meannnn. Oh and my mother got a pair of black pointy heels and flowery pumps from that Japanese shop beside Comics Connection. They were on sale for $24. SEE I TOLD YOU MY MOMMA IS COOL

So we gave up.

Next day, we went to Sim Lim Square to find the Bustin' Out game. Again, the people said they were out of it. What the hell. I was so frustrated and agonised and decided to just get THE SIMS 2 PC GAME in the hopes of it compensating my loss of something with so much potential. I must say, the game I got incorporates everything Bustin' Out had to offer, and more. BUSTIN' OUT JUST GOT ITSELF BUSTED. Lame like shit sia.

So I started playing it today, and it's hella fun. I even got my own family, but after a few games, I deleted a few, because I didn't like their houses and their financial shortage. SO HERE IS MY FAMILY. I MADE A SCREENSHOT OF THEM. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO THEM. Presenting....

THE NIGHTMARE FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CLICK
From left to right: Nayla Nightmare, Naima Nightmare, Tom Nightmare, Nancy Nightmare and Nitscha Nightmare

COOL AINNIT?! My favourite is Naima Nightmare, least favourite being the male in the family, because he's always hungry. And Nancy's always forced to ring up the pizza guy to drop off some pizza to feed his hunger.

Nayla Nightmare, who is 18, is the eldest daughter of punk supermom Nancy Nightmare who got married to Tom Nightmare at the raw age of 17. They met each other at a motorcycle race where Tom's best friend, Dylan Robinson, was racing. It was love at first sight, even though it took a few weeks for Tom to warm up to Nancy's wild antics. When they got their first child, Tom was so pleased at the fact that Nayla took after him. Prim and proper, and abit stuck up, Nayla aims to be a chef, expertising in the culinary career track one day. She loves reading, listening to pop music, preparing instant meals for her family and socialising with postmen.

Nitscha Nightmare, who came 2 years after Nayla, takes after her mom in so many ways. From her razor haircut to wild make-up to bondage fashion, she's a clear representation of her mother when she was younger. Always clad in combat boots and studded belts, Nitscha is a punk art student who is home-schooled. She aspires to be accepted in a private art school someday. She hates people who mispronounces her name (it's pronounced Nit-shah) Always throwing tantrums, she always gets on the nerve of her elder sister and isn't her younger sister's favourite because of her irritable nature. She hate socialising and has a social problem, causing the ever-so-friendly social bunny to drop by the house very so often. She loves repairing computers, reading on mechanical stuff, punk art couture, practising chess and irritating her mother.

Naima Nightmare thinks she is Wonder Girl, even though she is only 8. Among her favourite things to do are playing card games , jumping on the bed with her PJ's on, snacking silently on chips in the kitchen, going to school late and shouting at the school bus driver. She has an attention-deficit problem, and can never pay attention much in school. This explains her bad grades. Her favourite person in the family is her father, who loves joking around with her. She aims to grow up to be like her mother. Her ambition is to be a superstar, belting out rock tunes from Simple Plan. Even though Nitscha hates Simple Plan.

2005-10-14T23:01:00.000-07:00

GOT THE SIMS 2 PC GAME.

Couldn't find Bustin' Out anywhere, and the Urbz was just a waste of money for such short, crappy gameplay. So yeah...

IT'S EFFING BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best part is : It doesn't lag. AT ALL.
Ok, maybe that's just cos I had to compromise by deleting NeroSmart Burning Program, Quicktime, and a whole bunch of other programs.

BUT IT STILL ROCKS.

N

2005-10-14T02:24:00.000-07:00

DON'T GIVE A FUCKING DAMN GIRL, DON'T GIVE A FUCKING DAMN.

Repeat this in your fucking squashed up head.

IZZA DOESN'T GIVE A FUCKING DAMN.

Must hurt to have a head like yours. Because unlike me, because I do self-admit that I have a wide forehead, you seem to just shut yourself close in that HAMBURGER HEAD OF YOURS.

Pity, really.

Emochika's there to back me up. Luohan Sisters, all the way!

OH AND BIGGER FOREHEAD? Equals BIGGER BRAIN.
SQUAHED UP FACE? Equals ZILCH, BITCH. NOTHING TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.

SCORE!!!!!!

Yeah, you got that right. Nobody likes you lah. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

2005-10-14T00:09:00.000-07:00

I feel pretty low today. Not much mood to do anything besides rot.

I hear the message tone over and over again downstairs where my handphone lies on the study desk. It's probably Shariff, but what do I care? Well, actually I do care. He's my fcking BOYFRIEND for Christ's Sake. But I don't seem to find a single bit of motivation to go down, pick up the phone, and strike up a conversation with him. I'm too tired to think.

I think I'm dehydrated. BAHHHHHH. Everybody's got their baju raye except me lah. FUCCCCKKKK

2005-10-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " paranoid android " radiohead

I think this belt is pretty hot for what it's worth. 13 bucks with shipping & handling from the States. I don't like what it says, but the material's pretty nifty.

I feel so bored at home! My mother left me $50 to go get a set of passport photos done, but I don't think I'll be going until late afternoon. Then I'm expected to get beverages and household items from NTUC so I'm holding it up until 2pm. I woke up pretty early today.

For once in my life I feel that I'm quite contented with being at home, alone, with nothing to do. Exams have seriously drenched me in pure lethargy and my mind screams S-L-E-E-P continously.

I downloaded a couple of strategic games such as ROLLERCOASTER TYCOON 2 AND 3 from Limewire and they're sucky-ass crappy. I don't even KNOW how to build rollercoasters let alone plough the land to make way for thrill rides and burger bars. Not for me, you can tell.

My stomach hurts and cramps are making me sweat. This sucks.

go numb by grip

2005-10-11T17:34:00.000-07:00

MUSIC : " little house of savages " the walkmen

ever toasted marshmallows using novelty tealights on an empty pizza box?

I told him yesterday, "I don't want this feeling to ever end." He just smiled at me, possibly excogitating the consequences buried so deeply under wisps of kisses and hugs, oh the damage! If he replied saying he felt the exact same way. It makes me wonder.

WANDERLUST affecting me bit by bit like an uncontrollable disease. It's time for me to implement an idiot-proof way to spend the rest of the marking holidays at the cramped-up home without looking like a dust bunny with mumps. The pretentious need for bullshit self-expression has just whittled down to an unbalanced overthrow of imagination. I'm still so malleable. So ready to break free, to be licked with clipped limbs and be matted.

I feel the natural fold and urge to go shopping. It's no longer a devoir, more like a deprivation. As the infinite trails of too-small tees and jeans 3 sizes smaller quiver themsleves up to me, the more I yearn for that single pair of polished black pumps. The more the beating organ longs for some sort of colourful environment ready to radiate the tired, sagging, droopy eyes.

School doesn't seem to attract me at all at this time of the year. Whiteboards should be smothered in chocolate, desks castrated to form fluffy marshmallow pillows, dirty chairs to swirly-whirly cremosa lollipops and the environment littered with burnt sugar: a symbiosis of dissected words meant to express my undying love for you, disguised by natural avengefolds.

Sometimes I feel that being poetic by any chance would irritate the parasites feeding off my brain. Poetry has never been so laborious, so intricate. A few tangled words to mean a million things, as opposed to hypertext mark-up to compromise on burnt paper-waste. Infrastructure of an endagered baby panda waiting for her mother. Oceania awaits pearls and lillies.

2005-10-11T02:07:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " a woman's worth " alicia keys

Indirect post.

Hehe I had so much fun today. I still don't feel like writing it because I'm just plain exhausted. The weather is seriously killing me.

EXAMS OVER BABY

2005-10-10T01:15:00.000-07:00

Heh. I decided not to spend my money on make-up afterall. I can just borrow my mom's or something. I don't look much different with make-up on anyway. My mom also told me that there will be NO GEYLANG BAZAAR VISITS THIS YEAR. How tragic is that man. I love going to the bazaar, because then I can buy tons of dendeng, Ramly burgers, otak2, baju raya and shoes. It's like a food haven out there man. PLUS! I don't mean to be rude or anything, but taking a look at the deteriorating state of the community over there might send me into fits of giggles. It'll be a good change after weeks of exams and gruelling study sessions, no?

I'm also going to ask my mother for some of present after the exams. I'm thinking along the lines of these:

1.) Gola Sneakers
2.) Xbox Console The Urbz
3.) New purple specs

Yeah. I don't want all of course, just a couple would do. ;D Aisyah convinced me YET AGAIN to buy The Sims 2 PC Game but I'll try hunting down for pirated/burnt copies from my friends since I'm cheap like that. OH and if anybody has any cool computer games, please burn for me yahhs.

I don't think I'll be going out much after the exams. Partially because I don't really have any companion, secondly because the finances are on a shortage. It's always on a shortage, anyway. And I don't like the public nowadays, who does? And I think switching off on hibernation mode in the comforts of home would be just as appealing as "towning" in the scorching deep heat of the sun. KEPALE KAT TENGKOK BEB.

Hmm so far the wallet screams 15 BUCKS but they'll be gone soon. I might be following Wani to Nadia's house tomorrow to watch the Anugerah Finals on VHS (HAWT AINNIT.) or follow Ashwini to BP Library just to chill. Latter sounds boring, former sounds great. But then I don't wanna waste cash. I think I'll just sleep my way through after the Paper 2, contemplating the differences between selling my body and buying it back.

We were playing ard the other time when he spoke softly to me, "Calm down with the lips." I didn't understand what he was saying until I lifted my head up and saw my bronze-copper shade of lip gloss on his cheek. How it got there, I still don't know. He hates it when I use sticky gloss though.

2005-10-08T20:56:00.001-07:00

Approximately 24 more days to Lebaran.
I shall start saving up for guess what?
Clothes? Nah.
Xbox Games? Nah.
MAKE-UP? Hell yeah.

I'm thinking 2 eyeshadows, a new eyeliner, a new mascara and a new MAC Lip Glass. Or the Estee Lauder Pure Pops Lip Gloss? Those look irresistable. I still have say.. 3 more weeks to save up. I'll get them, you can bet your bottom dollar.

SHNAZZ-BAZZ-SASS

Oh and I'm thinking of wearing a light-green kebaya for Lebaran. What say you.

2005-10-07T23:48:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " save me from me " amber pacific

Some people ask me why I love Shariff so much. Most of the time I ignore them, muttering to myself about their inquisitive nature and why they just wouldn't keep to themslves. But sometimes it makes me think, too. What have I gotten myself into? What is it that makes it so difficult to pull myself out?

The truth is, I just love him alot. When somebody falls into the trap of love, there's no coming out. I seriously don't see myself with him in about 6 years, but I'd like to keep myself out of retrospect and just keep within a time-frame of about 3-5 months. That'll do.

The thing is : Love Fades. Really it does. Some people love because of the attraction to a mere facade, others just love for the sake of not being left out. I hate to discuss the odds and ends of love in public, but it's such a controversial topic it sets my brain on fire.

I love Shariff because of the invincible communication we have. Really, it's just wonderful. Everything with him is. I like it because WE COMMUNICATE FULLY IN ENGLISH and reserve all the sweet endearments and cuddly-smuggly phrases in Malay. It sounds snobbish> when I say it, but who cares? I don't. It's the love that only the 2 of us share. Besides, I'd love to be excluded from the huge, raging and burning circle of stereotyped Malay couples, once in a while.

The chemistry between us is absolutely beautiful. I don't know, but even when we're having a conversation about.. say... telephone lines and silk cocoons, something so awfully mind-numbing, he just makes everything suceed for me.

His sense of humour. I just realised how difficult it is for us to hold a conversation of average intellect for about 3 minutes, just because we're always talking shit all the frigging time. It's strange, really. Because I know he'll NEVER be able to become my best friend, yet the effort he puts into fitting into the mould seems so sweet.

Our interests are the same basically. Generally, if you literally plonked both of us down into a deserted island with 53516842 indie pop/rock records and a pair of mp3 players, some junk food, a television and 3 sets of clothes. We'd be happy. Oh and don't forget Cinnamon Hots for the boy. And Escada : Island Kiss for me.

He also loves my style, my face, my lipbalm, my humour, my lips. That, my friend, is an added bonus. You're so picturesque, so dangeresque.

All other lovey-dovey things aside, I just finished revising my Maths. Actually, I was doing perpendicular bisectors before I gave up. My compass keeps shitting on me. And I was listening to Perfect 10 since like what. Since APRIL?! Heard Carrie Chong's nasal voice and then retired back to the comp, writing whatever crap you've just read.

I can't concentrate on revising or studying or reading without food. It's difficult, Ramadhan is. It really is. Even listening music is MAKRUH because it distracts you from all-things religious. It seems sad, this whole world is. In addition to the horrifying exams on Monday and Tuesday, I can look forward to spending time at home because it's fasting month and my parents totally disapprove or going out and enjoying my time. Let's just see how I sneak out of home. BACKDOOR? Nope, none.

Also got a letter from Yayasan Mendaki today, containing a miserable 6R snapshot of the awards ceremony thing. Weird thing is, no bedhead. Hunched shoulders, alienated face. EYES NOT LOOKING TO THE CAMERA. From my arms, judging from the photo, I think I seriously need to gain weight.

Sorry if you think I'm just being sick.

2005-10-07T02:51:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " slow down " alicia keys

Am I the only one in Singapore who really thinks Uma Thurman is the most gorgeous lady on earth?

Look at her bloody face.

2005-10-06T21:06:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " dirty dancehall " the zutons

I feel sick and hungry. In addition to the countless number of insect bites I have from that fcking mosquito, I now have a permanent burn mark on my right side of the forehead. It really sucks. Like a burn mark from a Marlboro Light.

Don't ask me where I got it. Let's just say a friggin hair-dryer caught me by surprise.

I can't stand NOT EATING. I'm so nervous for maths. I seriously need to start from scratch because right now, I'm totally disillusioned. I'm totally lost what with all the algebraic factorisation and quadratic shit. The reason being escapes my mind right now.

Oh and wearing eye kohl invalidates your fast? What shit. It's under the Makruhat, because eye kohl, when worn on the waterline of the eye, will somehow find a way to absorb into your eyeball and therefore, it's entering your body. But there's no way eye kohl would be consumed through the throat, rite? It's just like taking a shower. Water absorbs into your skin, but in no way is your intention to EAT the water that goes through your skin.

Aisyah has convinced me to take up Pure Lit. It comes with Social Studies and History. BP is so bongok. History is considered an elective. And I found out that AMaths is COMPULSORY. That, my friend, is totally vomit-inducing.

oh sayang

2005-10-06T01:26:00.000-07:00

Adakah ini satu cabaran? Ataupun satu pertemuan? Kau puteriku... kau menghias ruang istanaku, kau sentuh dan kau kucuk tanganku. Beri keyakinan di dalam jiwaku, sebagai pertanda kau puteriku...

Can't you tell I'm in love with this song?

YAY! I changed the layout. I know the song is really inappropriate for this layout, but this is OUR special song so I shall put it up here anywayys. I think the hardest part of completing a fully-furnished layout is the music part, hands-down. It's quite difficult, because there are like a thousand and more choices out there but none of them really clicks with whatsoever you want to convey.

I don't like this layout.. *shrugs* It looks.. well. Plain. And um, kinda different in other resolutions. BUT it's a quick-fix. Did it in like 5 mins time, but choosing the music took like what. Half-an-hour? About there.

"SHE'S ON DRUMS, I'M ON TAMBOURINES. FLIPPING THROUGH A THRIFT STORE MAGAZINE."

Haha. It's so damn bloody ironic because Wani and I went THRIFTING just now. After the exam we took the bus to CCK Interchange and then we took 67 to Salvation Army Family Thrift Store to just look ard. Wasted lah.

I forgot to bring my cash and I only had like 2 bucks with me. Wani didn't have any moolah to spare so practically we were just dead, stick-broke. So we decided to just jalan2 and look ard. EXTREMELY FUN STUFF! We saw some old second-hand toys and they were going for like really cheap. The Para-Para Dance Mat game was going for $8. Some spiffy skirts for $2 and more and I saw a nice light-washed denim straight cut skirt for 5 bucks, but yeah. Didn't have enough dosh.

It's funny because thrift stores are just such cool places. You can find EXTREMELY awesome stuff for the dollar. You really get stuff for the littlest amt of cash you bring. I wanna go there after the exams with her again. Oh! And now that I know exactly the route to go, it's pretty convenient for me.

I like going with Wani... I love the sense of adventure we have.

Oh and I just realised that my fashion is extremely scruffy. I like re-wearing the same old huge tees over the same old muddy scruffy jeans over and over again. I don't know, that's just me. And it's fun being me.

History Exam was one of the worst exams I've ever sat for in a long, long time. It was easy and all, but there was SO MUCH MATERIAL to write down my hands were all limp and dead by the time 12:03 came. HAHA, classic. I used up ALL 4 sheets of paper, but then again. My handwriting is just darn retarded and huge.

I feel the love to blog again, since the weekend's almost here. I CAN wait for maths, man.

I LOVE YOU SHARIFF

2005-10-04T00:50:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " no phone " cake

I feel bored and all crummy inside. I'm tempted to change the blogskin but I know once I load Adobe Photoshop 7, the only thing that I'll produce by the end of countless hours would be zilch. It's a million odds to one I would produce a nice, fruitful skin to go along with my mood.

It's so temperamental you'll laugh when you encounter it.

I hate Maths Maths Maths Maths. I can do a song about my hate if you'd like. I'll even sing it to you. I'm willing to do so. I HATE MATHSSSS. Maths is an ass. An ass of the best. The best of the best. The best of the sass. The sass of the gas. The gas of the jest.

GETTING OUT OF POINT, NON?

I want new shoes! Seriously. I'm so going to beg for the Urbz Xbox Console Game once the final exams are over. SOMETHING TT CAN PROBABLY TAKE MY MIND OFF FOOD. For this retched month of Ramadhan. Shit I need to go clean my mouth.

I want to eat STRAWBERRY CHEEESECAKE ALA MODE and Oreo Milkshake. YUM YUM

beauty fuck

2005-10-03T03:34:00.000-07:00

This is an indefinite insight on what I've been doing for the past couple of hours.

Pissy drawing makes my day PART UNE

Pissy drawing makes my day PART DEUX

Pissy drawing makes my day PART TROIS

SHIVER ME TIMBER

2005-10-02T06:13:00.000-07:00

OH and I forgot to bring back my specs and pencil case home for the weekend. Told you I'm a spaz. I don't even know where the heck my specs are. I hope nobody nicked them away... or else I'll have to buy a new pair OUT OF MY OWN POCKET. Sucks right. I better set up the paperwork for the HELP IZZA SURVIVE 2005 FUND

Would anybody want to donate? Hmph, guess not.

Oooh and I got 20cent Spongebob Stickers. And Batman ones too, but those are so minuscule you won't even be able to see Catwoman's tits even if you squinted.

Ohhh what else. I'm bored. Tomorrow's Monday. I don't wanna sit for Maths exams.

2005-10-02T06:09:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " i bruise easily " natasha bedingfield

ABOOGEY. hahaha. What the hell lah. 3 comments, 2 of which are crap. And *yes* Nadiana, I've set my mind on CORPSE BRIDE!! YAYY

I updated my friendster fully. Put a couple of new pics into it, but they're heavily edited so you won't get to see the real me, which is horrifyingly unsuitable for human sight. Yeah whatever dunno what I'm crapping abt.

TOP 10 SEARCHES ON MY FRIENDSTER NETWORK

nokia 6230
tips on conversation
are you in love quiz
meanings of names
download free ringtones
DKNY- perfume
camera phones
nike bags
job listings
music to download

Job listings? DKNY perfume? Tips on conversation? You got me right thurrr. HAHAHA stim sak tgk kepale sotong.

2005-10-01T22:23:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a break from revision.
It felt good reading up the whole year's worth of Science Chapters we've been combing tumultously over these past 9 months (or so.)
Did a little Science Notebook that shall certainly help me on Wednesday.
Since I'm a spaz and can't keep track of facts too efficiently.

I'm convinced to watch 'Corpse Bride'.
Or ' The Devil's Rejects'. Tim Burton or Rob Zombie? Take your pick.

2005-09-30T01:50:00.000-07:00

I'm being such a prude. Getting angry and pissed off by everyone. But it's true... everyone is just so fcking rude and insensitive these few days, especially to me. It's very disturbing and it breaks my concentration from all things important.

EL Paper 1 and 2 today. It was okay, but the questions were abit tough but yeaa. Let's just see how the grading works. The descriptive essay was fugg, because I think I totally screwed it up - changing it into a narrative and all. I don't care lah.

What I totally dislike about BPGHS is the grading system. Tak psl2 nanti all the worksheets we do will be counted in the SA and CA marks. Like, what the fck. Kalau gitu might as well don't have exams lah. BODOH. Graded Work my ass lah. Who, in this world, is ever consistent? Not me.

My writing style has changed alot since like, 2 years ago. It's been always the same since 2003, up till recently. I don't like it... my writing has suddenly evolved to resemble an angsty teenager with no purpose in life. Bloody slacky words and improper expressions and such. Among all the things to annoy me.

Also, I realise that he hasn't called me. This makes me very distressed. What telah happen, Shariff? He hasn't SMS-ed me since yesterday night, in which he told me he would call me late at night yesterday. Well yeah, 8pm and midnight = BIG DIFFERENCE la dey.

Went out with Wani today. Got the metallic gold putty. HAHAHA. Bounces like ball, stretches like taffy yet breaks into pieces. Waddahoe.

I'm bored and my nose is being crappy and I really hate this world.

2005-09-29T06:06:00.000-07:00

I was bored during revision for the smelly old papers tomorrow, and came up with a pretty wicked piece of prose, if I dare say so myself.

VAMPIRE

My blood was thinning; I was about to die in vain upon her arms, only to be jolted wide awake again. In a matter of 16 seconds, REBORN WITH the fresh scent of love encircling me in an estranged cage of :

PURPLE
NONSENSE and sweet endearments.

I could not do it. I just loved her too much. Far too much for our own good : Every minute spent with her seemed immaculated - summed up to form a disfigured symbol of castrating love meant to be evenly shared with the 4 corners of the Globe. Bereft of pride and thrill, she seemed to give me everyting and more.

I sucked a small portion of her arm. My breath felt warm on her cold, anticipating skin. touch, free, Loss. moulded Skin. Fit my Mould of sacrosanct duties of sacrificial love like earth would to a sphere piece.

I sank my teeth into her arm. Ooze, ease, SOOTHE. i heard her small

GASP.

Emotions ripped from within; through the voice-box, to the pharynx, to the mouth. spirited & free through the air.

Her skin was porcelain. cold, pallid yet simple like trees swaying in the winter. Bald, Deprived State. mode switches to hibernation.

Copywritten to Iztotheza. Bahh. I'll hate tomorrow, but that's okay.

2005-09-29T03:31:00.000-07:00

Ehh. I didn't know guys wanted soft-spoken, gentle and feminine girls as their girlfriends? Didn't even cross my mind. I mean, if an average girl spends about 600 days of her lifetime, just waiting for her boyfriend to call her, I don't see why guys have to be all fussy-crummy about which girls to pick. SERIOUSLY, because guys are just out there for lust, entertainment and day i say - SEX?

9 parts out of 10 for Love - GIRLS
9 parts out of 10 for Sex - BOYS

Statistics courtesy of Jerry Ong. HAHA! Buttt yeah. Why must so choosy ha. Just take any girl lah. Ugly also can, fat also can, mouth big like shit also can. TIME IS RUNNING OUT, IDIOT.

I feel like posting alot today. Figuratively speaking because I'll be probably too occupied with my work from tomorrow onwards. The weekend is spent strictly for REVISION, mainly for Science and Maths. I *need* to start mugging like hell for History, since there are sooo many facts that are still hanging loose.

MUG MUG MUG. I hate that fcking word. It's so cliche, it'll seem like it came right out of your ass.

2005-09-29T01:23:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " fall to pieces " velvet revolver

"I lick my lips like I'm LL. And I'm doing it, and doing it and doing it well."

I changed the layout. It's nifty as fuck. It's the HAPPY TREE FRIENDS. I've got the lipbalm LOL. Lipbalm freak. Happy Tree Friends Lip Balm, in a sliding tin in "Blue-Back Blackberry" flavour. Smells realllly good. But it's all small and greasy. Now where did I put it...

Oh and PRETTY GIRLS DON'T SMOKE, DRINK NOR STEAL So there.

I'm waiting for his call on pins and needles. It's like, I got a second best friend or something. God, this is exciting. I didn't believe something as horrid that happened last time would produce such a wonderful thing like this, today.

I love everybody.

2005-09-28T04:32:00.000-07:00

Since my last post was disturbingly filled with sense of paranoia, ignorance, anger, hatred, jealousy and the sorts, I shall try to make an effort to re-post, something presumably better for the pleasure of the reading audience.

Like as if. If only I had the energy.

Final Examens was TERRIFIC. Not terrific terrific, but SUPERBLY TERRIFIC. I left a few blanks at the Comprehension Orale section, but that's just logic. Because the tape was going really quickly, and it would just seem like I was a totally kiss-up if I made stupid, in-the-air kind of answers. Yeah, like make up the answers.

So 2 down, 143642 gazillion more to go. Friday's the English Paper 1, and I'm so bloody not geared up. I totally suck at Formal Letter Writing. I don't clearly see the purpose of us learning these screwed-up structures. Rrright, so one day we'll be writing letters of complaints to principals because their snot-assed pupils stole my fucking mp3 player in the middle of Bohemia? I don't think so. SO WHYYY

Yeah I think I need to cut my hair. Getting wild and stupid.

Ramadhan's coming sooooon.

2005-09-28T04:15:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " road bully " kopi kat klan

I just have the feeling today's post will be tremendous. Tremendously long.

1st things first, this is MY fcking blog, and I'll say whatever heck I wanna say. It might be bad, it might be good, it might be sickening, or whatsoever, but question: do i care? Nah. Because this is my blog, and if you don't wanna read it, you're just so open to clicking the 'Close' button. It's an option, so fcking use it ALREADY.

I know the above sounds like crap, but yeah. I wouldn't sound so bitchy on most days, but erh. Yea you get the point. Yepps.

Oh and some people just cannot TERIMA HAKIKAT HIDUP. Go to hell lah. Using same insults ah? Your shrivelled up brain probably has no more capacity to fit in any more ideas. Because all you know how to do is chant FUCK FUCK FUCK at the top of your bloody lungs, reveal your buncit stomach; claiming you have a "6-PAC" thats apparently invisible to like 98% of the world. Oh and that 2 percent refers to YOU AND YOUR BLOODY EGO. Hulk ah?!

ISAP BUAH GAJAH AH? Talk to the fcking hand cos the mouth ain't talking. Oh who's buah is that. YOURS AH. Because, in actual fact, you DO resemble a fucking giagantic ELEPHANT. You fucking mammoth.

Mamak Kedai Rambut tersalah potong. SURE.OR.NOT
Or just denying the fcking fact tt you have no sense of style?
No barber in the whole fcking world will ever APPROVE of that mess atop your head. They'd fcking know better.

Oh, nak kutok aku eh? Eh PLEASE LOOK AT THE FCKING MIRROR CAN OR NOT.
Oh wasn't it you who kept throwing mindless praises at me?
"Izza jambu, izzanye mata lawa...."
OH MAYBE FUCKING NOT. IT MIGHT BE A MISTAKE. I WAS DREAMING FOR THE FCKING 9 MONTHS I WAS IN BP.

GO TO FUCKING HELL LAH.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

2005-09-26T02:55:00.000-07:00

PENG-HIANAT!
>.< HAHAHA. Some people just need some anger management. They need to be thought. To ease it over. Some people are just weird and look so uber CONSTIPATED when they're angry. Poor them.

"MEDIA OVERDRIVE!!!" Ok, too many quotes. Too, too. Hahaha. I hate CHINESE RACIST people. I mean, Chinese people are excellent as they come, but I hate it when they come with a racist streak in them. I mean, we did a comprehension practice about racism towards the Japanese, and yeah. I kinda agree with Miss Sumiko Tan. Racism exists in every corner of the world. You just have to open your big, belolok eyes to actually see it.

Waddahoe. We had a nice, cool, LOOOONG chat with Mdm. Inah just now. Iqbal is just a hypocrite. Ok lah not really... I dunno what Mdm. Inah called him. Lalang? Belalang? Like, he supports both sides but still wanna talk big. Had an educational talk about inferiority complex's and the works. Then went to Lot 1 to return my art books, have $.45 fine. Chill marmalyde.

Oh and not all guys nafsu besar.
AND I don't care about looks.
So there goes.
You can guess how Shariff looks like now.
HAHAHAHA.

S.I : "Pencil thin, pencil thick. Pencil thin-thick, long-short, I don't care."

LAME. ♥

2005-09-24T23:56:00.000-07:00

Brand new start of a brand new day. Only not, since it's already 2.56pm.

I feel that I totally flunked my Final Art Piece. I really hope the write-up I did at the back of it made up for the marks I probably lost on the drawing itself. I cut off her hands, her legs, and her face looks really retched. I'm talking uneven colour and black oil pastel smudges.

So yeah. I think I just flunked it. That's okay, though. Mr Cheong still said : ALL SOLUTIONS ARE ACCEPTABLE!

In case you haven't found out yet, I spring-cleaned my study desk. Threw out notes that I didn't need anymore. Seems stupid, since they might still be handy next year. But nahh. Clutter is my worst enemy. Then I stumbled upon my first Sec 1 Sketcbook and noticed how freaking ugly it was. It is, correction.

I ate a tofu burger for the first time in my life yesterday. May I say it seriously does taste like shit?

2005-09-24T00:09:00.000-07:00

Ehh. Changed the skin. I don't like it, but it was one of the best I could find.

Limewire's being a bitch. Every single track I download will be marked 'could not move into library' and then saving songs onto my Neeon would be like 10 times more difficult. THIS SUCKS.

But then again , I now have 1056 songs on my Neeon and there're still space for like what, 500 more songs? I'm so glad I didn't get an iPod Mini. Anybody who wants an iPod Nano is just a trend-following freak, or specifically an imbecile person with no mind of his own. Oh, what happened to you guys? Suddenly dropped out of the iPod Shuffle chase? Fuck you losers.

I happen to have just found out tt I seriously despise posers, or people who follow trends. Take a step back and re-trace all my previous posts. I think there's an intense hate against these people in my element.

DON'T FUCKING SAY YOU'RE UNIQUE AND ORIGINAL IF YOU LIKE SIMPLE PLAN. COME ONNN.

HAHAHAAHA. I just made myself pee in my pants.

"good morning starshine! the earth says hello." got that from farhanah but i didn't get it until i watched charlie & the choc factory yesterday night. not the movies, you god-damned ass. A DVD. Borrowed it from my cousin. It's pretty good, only I kind of hate Violet Beauregarde now. Over-achiever, her. HAHAH.

I wanna take up tennis. Like Shariff. FA REAL!
Oh and Karate too. Only difference is, I wanna take it up with him. Don't think dirty.

Oh and I'm attached. Like a paper clip on a piece of paper.
WORRRDD.

2005-09-23T21:51:00.000-07:00

PENIPU. So stupid. Pakai shorts ketat. Ape, mak kau takde duit nak belikan kau pasang baru eh? BODOH. So damn bloody ugly still can act like you so big. Well actually you are, LITERALLY. So damn bloody fat. Go and lose some weight lah you piece of fucking shit.

And the reason why Wani & I own you people? We make people laugh without even trying. Oh and we have Famous-Amos flavoured lipbalm too. You'll die of hunger.

z

2005-09-22T01:21:00.000-07:00

NAME 20 PPL YOU KNOW
1) lyria
2) hazwani
3) atiqah
4) hidayah
5) kerk ying
6) derrick
7) ezzati
8) wahidah
9) nadiana
10) rahmuna
11) shairah
12) saiful
13) afiqah
14) nuraisyah
15) emochika
16) azlin
17) hui qi
18) farhanah
19) qiu quan
20) herianti

-How did you meet 13?:
-- PRIMARY SCHOOL. prefectorial board. same class.

-What would you do if you never met 5?:
-- ehh. if i didn't meet somebody, why would i specifically do something? idiot. but yeah... perhaps just live with it? it's just kerk ying after all. haha

-What do you honestly think of 10?:
-- used to be a best friend? she's changed, though.

-Have you ever liked no.3?:
-- as friends? DUH

-If 1 died tomorrow, what is one thing that youwould like to do?:
-- i dunno. cry and go to her funeral? it's a sad thing

-Would 2 and 11 make a good couple?:
-- they're both girls. wani's my BESTIE and shairah's damn bloody spunky and hot. so yeah, they'll go well, if you put it tt way.

-Do you think 12 is hot?:
-- uh NO

-Would 1 and 17 make a lovely couple?:
-- HAHAHAHAHA. Lyria and Hui Qi? Abit unlikely.

-Tell me something about 11:
-- so damn bloody athletic

-Do you know any of 3's family members?:
-- not really

-On a scale of 1-10 how cute is 14?:
-- NURAISYAH? you don't even wanna know. uber hot. i'd give her a 20. hahaha.

What would you do if 4 just professed theirundying love for you:
-- haaha i'd die of laughter.

-What language does 19 speak?:
-- chinese and english. he takes up japanese though

-Who is 8 going out with?:
-- i don't know.

-Would 18 and 5 make a good couple?:
--HAHAHAHAHA FARHANAH AND KERK YING. no way.

-When was the last time you talked to 6?:
-- uh in the morning today? he's a pervertic child.

-What is 18's favorite band?
-- probably.. umm. i don't know. black eyed peas?

-Does 4 have any siblings?:
-- i think so. yah.

-Would you ever date 1?:
-- if i was a guy. hell yeah. but no, i'm a girl. and i'm as straight as a stick.

-Would you ever date 7?:
-- nah.

-Is 15 single?:
-- hahaah NO.

-what is 19s last name?:
-- KUA is his SURname.

What is 3's middle name?:
-- i'm not even sure she has one.

-What is 10's fantasy?:
-- haha u don't even wanna know.

-Would 14 and 19 make a good couple?:
--UH no way.

-What school does 16 go to?:
-- BPGHS. ((:

-What school does 1 go to?:
-- BPGHS too.

-Where does 9 live?
-- jurong. i think!

-Would you make out with 11?
--nah.

2005-09-22T01:07:00.000-07:00

I love runonfuel too much. Like real.

2005-09-15T03:39:00.000-07:00

Haze makes a comeback in 2 coastal areas of M'sia.

What the.

2005-09-13T01:48:00.000-07:00

MOVED.
you'll know where.
if you have MSN, that is.

I'll still be updating this, naturally. But I don't know how often. I'll change the layout once inspiration strikes me. Which is pretty often, judging from the number of layouts I've coiled up in the past couple of months.

And so I cheated. 268th post.

2005-09-10T07:20:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " sugar " the archies
STRESSED OUT.

Hey I know it's been extremely difficult for the two of us. You feel it, and so do i. It's not like everything's on you. I feel it too if you feel it, so don't stress it kkae? I know how everything's not going the way you want it to,but I'm willing to make things work for the two of us, anything. ARE YOU?

I know it hasn't been easy what with all the classes you go to, all the outings your family expects you to attend. And all those cancelled meetings. Don't think I didn't cry over them... all I'm wondering is whether YOU'VE been feeling anything after days and days of cancelling and re-cancelling. Perhaps not. Perhaps not at all. But I'm putting my trust on you because I'M FEELING YOU. I'm so loving you. You're so effing special.

So let's make it a date and don't cancel it just before the end-of-years, kkae? ((:

HOORAY I FINISHED ALL MY HOMEWORK. It's weird, extremely weird ; because just hours ago I was droning and complaining about not getting it done on time & how I didn't care even if it went missing in the Panamas. I seriously sounded ESTRANGED now tt I read back my ellejay. But hey, I got it done in like what - 4 hours? Pretty proud of myself. Well yeah I skipped a few questions but those were because they weren't taught you smartass.

HIP HIP HOORAY.

I shall focus on getting some reading done tomorrow. &! I shall update my ellejay with tons of blow-by-blow accounts on what really happened at the Yayasan Mendaki thing junnow. LOOK OUT FOR IT. With big, opened eyes.

Oh and I think I'll wake up at 3 in the morning. You know why.

2005-09-09T05:19:00.000-07:00

Stupid scene-kids.

I hate them. They're just so STUPID. And putrid. Well tt doesn't make sense but yeah. What the hell I don't even know where the fck to start. It's like, their dressing. Their hair. Their attitudes. Moreover, their attitudes about THEMSELVES AND SCHOOL.

It's like they're totally in their own little messed up world, where everything's fine and dandy. Like as though school is just another spoiled up dream that they can take for granted. Like as though if they don't make it well they can just "flip" to that page where school exists in that book of life they have and re-take it over and over again. And the catch is : it still wouldn't matter. When are these frickin idiots gonna get the clue that they're just NOT HOT, AN EMBRASSMENT TO THE SOCIETY, AND PROBABLY REAL STUPID AND A TOTALLY LOSER WHILE WE'RE AT IT.

Like fine. Okay. You have this really, really nice TOMBOY HAIRCUT that took you like what. 4 years to get? Then your mummy finally couldn't stand the thought of you jumping out and getting a bellybutton piercing as a sign of rebellion so she let you snip away your tresses. AND THERE. YOU'RE THE NEXT BIG THING.

CORRECTION. You're the next big ASSHOLE. You don't even know that you're a disgrace to the masses of the students who are burying their noses into their binded-notes or textbooks because they want a future. Somekind of moulded future that involves something OTHER than F4-Haircuts and layers of white trash draped around your scrawny-sotong bodies.

Eh come on. GO GET YOURSELF A FCKING ASS LAH IF YOU WANT TO WEAR A MINISKIRT. Washboard asses. Oh let's go TOWNING and try to find you some generic pair of buttocks lying around the streets near "CINE" and "LIDO" and try to fit you into them. Then maybe going TOWNING and finding a nice MINISKIRT IN FOREVER 21 would be so much more worthwhile. Faggots.

Oh and since when has "TRACK" been the popular CCA? HAH. Go join track if you have nice long legs! CALLING FOR LEGGY GIRLS WITH THE POPULARITY THE SIZE OF JUPITER.Oh and you know the cool thing about it? YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO RUN WELL. YOU JUST NEED TO BE POPULAR, LEGGY AND THAT NICE HAIRCUT I TOLD YOU ABOUT. And if you still don't qualify, go fck yourself and join a sport. Wait, let's make it more specific. H-O-C-K-E-Y. Oh oh oh. N-E-T-B-A-L-L.

And if you still can't, why not SELF MUTILATE? Besides, it's also very "IN". Just take a random penknife and start slashing your arms. You could be laughing while doing it, or out of pure pretence, in front of a crowd of awestruck girls. Your popularity will be guaranteed to fluctuate to the size of Earth.

OH AND DON'T FORGET TO GO ON A DIET WHEN YOU'RE ALREADY SO FREAKISHLY ANOREXIC. I'M TALKING LIKE 35KG, WANTING TO GO A FEW KILO'S DOWN. Worrrdd.

Talking about all these, I had a freaky dream last night. I wanted to get my labret pierced, as well as my left ear tragus. So I casually walked up to the store where the piercers were 2 AUNTIES. I asked her how much it was total and she said 8 dollars. So I went to the bank to take out some cash, and when I went back, all ready to get pierced up, I heard the fcking auntie telling me it cost 87 dollars total. And then I felt a sharp jabbing pain on my jaw as she screwed a huge needle into my labret and the scene changed.

2005-09-08T22:45:00.000-07:00

MUSIC: " union " black eyed peas

2005-09-08T20:13:00.000-07:00

LOVE PLASTIC LOVE 8

Anybody who knows me well enough would know that I would be ecstatic if I had a thousand+ tracks on my Neeon. So yeah. Send me those unwanted tracks by msn to me PRONTO. dianneshotyou@hotmail.com or glitterOVERkill@gmail.com if it's already uploaded on a proper file server.

I'm still a little pissed because CREATIVE MEDIASOURCE PLAYER forced me to literally delete about 240 of my songs off this certain playlist because they weren't in the right format. Shucks, I know. So now instead of having 970 songs on my Neeon, I have a little less than 800. About as little as when I started. I know this sucks. IT'S LIKE SO DEPRESSING IT'S LESBIAN-ISH.

And to that certain someone, I'm sorry I scolded you like that and then blocked you. It's true mah. You can call me 'pompuan hardcore' all you want, but seriously. I wouldn't give a flying fuck. You could call me that name until my dying second, and I still wouldn't give 2 fucking hoots about it. That's because I have something called dignity in me, & because of that : I seriously wouldn't take any comments to heart. And by that, I'd still like to mention that what I said about you being a loser plus not having a single girl wanting to lay you in your entire life, still applies in ALL WAYS. I know how much it hurts its almost gay.

EDIT// I updated tons on my ellejay.

2005-09-08T03:44:00.000-07:00

WHEN THERE ARE 299 POSTS, I SHALL START A NEW BLOG.

How that's for ya? I think it's a pretty good idea. I'm sick of this title, runonfuel.blogspot.com, and besides, it's always good to have a change now & then. It does wonders for your health. But either way, I think it's a new, good, and excellent idea. And I shall start whipping up a nice, simple layout for the blog. Since this is my 263rd post.

I don't fcking understand why people must wear layers and layers of fancy-dandy clothes when they will probably look equally good in a nice, fancy but still simple top and nice, simple, fuss-free embellished jeans? Or a nice coloured skirt or a pair of textured trousers for example?

FUCKING OVERDRESSED.

"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives."

-Admiral William Leahy, chief of staff for President Truman's administration, in April 1945, four months before the bomb was dropped on Hiroshima.

FUCKING WRONG.